Author: admin

Oh how I wish I could blame AI.

That would be so easy, wouldn’t it? I could sit here and claim that AI is ruining the writing industry and as a result, I have less and less motivation to create wonderful stories. Only, AI isn’t ruining the industry quite yet. In fact, AI creative writing is pretty easy to spot and often not very good. I could argue that easy, not so deep writing (i.e. beach or airplane books) are ruining me and crushing my will to write because they come out so fast and have such a fervent following (easily likened to that of romance novels) that I am losing my will to write.

Also not true.

The truth is that I am struggling to put my butt in the chair because the stories I am telling are only interesting enough to me in concept and not execution, so I cannot dream up the will or intricacy to actually write them. I’m bored by my own stuff! Stephen King famously wrote about losing the thread of stories, once even writing himself into a story where he lost the thread. I am not doing that. I am not doing anything right now except for wallowing. So, I decided to own up to that here in the blog.

I need to find better stories to tell. I need to find the stories that excite me enough to write them. If I don’t, this entire enterprise may be reduced to little more than a blog and a teaching resume.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Trump draws Marie Antoinette comparisons as he leans into the gilded trappings of the presidency” How are we in this timeline?
2. Speaking of Timelines and the Multiverse, Doom trailer dropped at CinemaCon. I’m supposed to be excited, I guess.

Sitting down to write this blog, I have zero idea what to say. It isn’t like I don’t have stuff going on. I am still getting over that brief flash of depression triggered by the recognition that my youngest is a manipulative person who has yet to take responsibility for anything in his life, leading to a scenario where failure is more likely than success. I was reading about Justin Fairfax this morning and thinking, “this is worst case scenario” for someone who has to be accountable after a life of not having to be. You just fall off a cliff when faced with the weight of accountability. It is going to end very badly for my kid unless I get him turned around. At the very least, he is going to fail at his chosen path of football, because coaches expect accountability–not blame.

I don’t want to see him fail. I don’t want to spend my days worrying about his failure. I also don’t want to see him turn into the kind of person that fails to be responsible for anything in his life–that sort of lingering victimhood that led me away from my first marriage. It is happening regardless of what I want. I just need to figure out a way to stop it, or at least let him see what he is doing to himself.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “AP Exclusive: Europe has ‘maybe 6 weeks of jet fuel left,’ energy agency head warns” Yo! That is not good. At least we are not headed that way and into that pricing chainsaw.
2. Fox News is still advertising on AP news. I am shocked by this… I should not be.

I was not going to do the Waiver Wire this time. I didn’t really have much to say other than to show my legitimate angst at my teenager being, well, a teenager. This is not to excuse his behavior (No chance of that at all… He’s getting that verbal whipping). I expected more from him and from our relationship and he did not deliver on his end of the bargain. Instead he fell into that modern trap of playing the victim and using clinical language in order to reframe the situation as anyones fault but his own. This is what happens when you get a girlfriend and start to feel yourself a little.

But I digress…

How is he gonna ball? Well, based on the new AZcentral.com report, he is not one of the top 40 players in the state. I can see why: He doesn’t get turnovers. When I studied the PFF grading system in relation to his big brother I learned a very important fact. Grades are swayed remarkably by splash plays. If you give up a touchdown, it hurts. If you don’t get interceptions, it hurts more. Still, he did force several fumbles and that peanut punch got him 4 offers so far. I still implore him to take one of these offers, because I’m learning that the teams that want you first are the teams that actually want you. He’s supposed to visit one of those teams this weekend, but we will see if that happens given how much trouble this child is in.

Short waiver. We need to talk schedule and playing both ways and all of that eventually. I think that waits till after the summer. Next time I return to the waiver, I’ll get into an analysis of UNI and what is going to happen on defense with my boy joining the roster. There are impacts to be made.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Hot dogs and steaks and bacon, oh my! Meat raffles keep a beloved Midwest tradition alive” We are an extremely strange country.

I Think….

I’m low energy lately. It has been several days of this. I thought it might be just the days I have no coffee, so I should continue to monitor that situation. But I know it is more than that. I got struck down with depression a few days back and I am trying to work myself out of it. Until I do wipe away the residuals, I will definitely be struggling.

I Think…

My classes all need a rebuild and a streamlining. I need to make this all go faster and make more sense so people can spend more time actually working with the material they are learning.

I Think…

People get upset when you talk about politics because it makes them feel upset and powerless. I also think it makes some people nervous because they don’t agree with you and want to avoid that confrontation. Politics is a difficult bridge to traverse. We have to get away from the sides and the polarization and get back to starting at a place of recognizing what we have in common, as opposed to seeing disagreement as unamerican. Until then, we are gonna always cringe when we try to talk about politics.

I Think…

We need to talk about politics, because the Trump stuff is getting worse by the hour. This is pretty much new territory when it comes to dereliction of duty. I’m not here for the whataboutisms either. You cannot constantly use what we all agree was a fading old man as an excuse for being bad yourself. I fear though that is exactly what future administrations will do based on the straight grifting and dereliction Trump has put on full display. We’re at war. We started this war alongside Israel. Yet, when it comes time to have negotiations the president and the secretary of state cannot make it there because they’re at a UFC Fight? Come on, man.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “NFL reporter Dianna Russini resigns from The Athletic after photos published of her with Mike Vrabel” Some context here is needed. See, Russini and Vrabel are longtime friends. Moreover, these photos showing them together laughing in a pool, were zoomed in to remove the other people who were also hanging out with them. This helped to promote an affair narrative. As a result, she had to quit her job before the Athletic fired her. What is nuts to me is that these friendships she has with these powerful sports figures are exactly why she gets scoops. Someone wanted to make a story happen. Someone succeeded.

When things erupt in my life they rarely do so quietly. Instead it is as if everything in my history was waiting for this moment to explode. This weekend it finally did. What started as a relatively banal parenting situation quickly spiraled into what I would describe as a game changer. Short version: My kid lied to me about where he was. I told him to come home. He told me no and decided to go to his mom’s house instead. We haven’t spoken since.

There is a lot to break down there, but the game changer is his refusal to listen and ability to retreat to another parent who does not discipline or agree that what he did was even wrong. It is very tough to parent a kid who lives between parents. It is especially tough when one of those parents isn’t willing to work with the other and uses anything they can to further endear herself with the child. The weaponization of children is a terrible thing, but one I’ve long been used to. My children have been riding those waves for over a decade. This is not the first time it has been a situation where one ran to the other parent because they knew there were no consequences on that side. However, that kid was over 18 at the time. This one isn’t.

So, what comes next? I don’t know. I want to believe the relationship with the kid is repairable. I don’t know that it is. He’s at that age where lying and manipulation come easy. Worse still, he’s surrounding himself with people who thrive on such things and are not willing to hold him accountable for anything. Instead any perception of him being in the wrong or any perceived failure is blamed on external sources. Even in the moment this weekend his refusing to come home was labeled as ‘my fault’. This is a recipe for failure. What does he think is going to happen when he gets to college? Does he expect these same ploys to work? My best guess is that he washes out as a freshman and returns to his mom where he will continue to be coddled well into his adulthood, because that gives her purpose and value. Some people are willing to sacrifice their kids future to feel good about themselves. I’m not the one.

So, what does that mean I do? I don’t know. I’m not sure how to fight this battle and teach him to stand up and stand alone. I am running out of time to figure that out.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Hungarian election winner Magyar vows to fight graft, change constitution” for context, Orban provided the framework for the gerrymandering and other steps towards legally rigging elections. He stacked the deck so heavily in his favor that in spite of overwhelming numbers of people hating him and his politics, he stayed in power for 16 years. Just recently JD Vance campaigned for the man, on our tax dollars. He still lost. This is going to ripple across the world. Hopefully the wave hits us in the next presidential election, because if it doesn’t we’re done for as a positive global influence.

I was going to do a dad blog, but I decided to wait on that one until this presently occuring dad situation unfolds to completion. Instead, I figured I’d leap right into…

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “JUST IN: Trump says the US blockade of the Strait of Hormuz will be ‘all or none,’ with no passage for any ship until Iran relents.” To share a later quote, “I don’t understand how blockading the strait is going to somehow push the Iranians into opening it. I don’t get the connection there,” Sen. Mark Warner, a Virginia Democrat, told CNN’s “State of the Union” on Sunday. So now we are the ones blocking the strait because they’ve decided to toll people going through, and we won’t let what we describe as a terrorist organization toll their own space? This is getting so dramatically out of control that I no longer expect a peaceful resolution in my children’s lifetimes. I mean how much damage can we do to our world reputation in four years?!
2. Meanwhile, we are about to host the World Cup in the worst possible political climate for such things. I fear for the fans, honestly. That is if the ones we consider “undesirable” even get let in.
3. I don’t like the way things are going and the level of existential stress it is causing me as a human. It feels like this administration is resetting us to a time when we all had to consider the constant threat of global nuclear war. However, there are so many more threats at play now with the way we’ve handled technology. Oh to be able to go back to a time where it wasn’t like this!
4. Then this happened: “Israeli strike kills infant girl in south Lebanon during father’s funeral” Which brings me back to the root cause of much of this. I don’t deny Israel’s ability to protect themselves, but what we are seeing here is another example of hardliners silencing the masses and creating conditions to both keep themselves in power and carry out their life-long missions of not only destroying other cultures that threaten, but expanding their own footprint. Israel doesn’t care about societies that are not as wealthy or globally appreciated as they are and man, it is showing here.
5. Then there is this: “In February, Democrats on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee released a report that said the deportation agreements with foreign governments cost American taxpayers millions ?of ?dollars – at times more than $1 million per ?person shipped out of the country – and produce little benefit.”
6. Well, that’s our stem of reality. It could be worse. It could also be quite a bit better…

“It’s International Fact-Checking Day. Refresh your AI identification skills” When I first started using computers back in the early 90’s we still used the terminology Mega Instructions per Second, or MIPS. A publicly available computer could run at 10 to maybe 35 MIPS. We don’t even use the terminology anymore because it reflects an architecture that is too slow and outdated. In other words, start adding zeros. The average laptop is 50,000 times faster and more capable than the computers I grew up with. Yes, we used to believe that Moore’s law would show that we’re gonna peak, but that law was proved false four years ago, and we’ve made huge jumps in processing since then.

All of this is to say that we are moving into the AI era, and it is going to be a lot like the massive jumps in technology experienced during my childhood. Where I was accessing amazing new visuals and realizing that Basic was not the end all to coding, we are starting to witness self-replicating code and technology that evolves to meet the expectations of its audience. The worst part of it–or the scariest–is that we are not ready as a mature and intelligent species. At least not here in the USA, and probably not in a lot of areas of the world.

AI is a tool, but the problem with tools in our culture is that we become reliant upon them and fail to both mentally safeguard ourselves against the effects (pay close attention to chatbots), nor are we aware enough to understand (or even want to?) how they work. This scares me on a few levels. Mainly, we are putting these tools in control of functions that shape our lives. We know already that power corrupts. Why do we continue to fail to respect that axiom?

Andon Market in San Fransisco tried to let the tool take control. The company is, “preparing for a future in which organizations are run by autonomous AI systems, or agents, like Luna.” It hired its own employees through Luna AI, an open source ai bot matrix. It did all of the things a business should do. It also did more. Read the article. Sounds mundane. Winds up not being. This is only the beginning.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Ichiro Suzuki’s statue unveiling has a mishap as bat snaps during ceremony”

I think….

We’d be much better off in some senses had we elected Harris. We’d be far more visibly divided, because the half that controls the media is the half that pushes the divisiveness the most. Of course, that just kicks this exploding can down the road. Now we are in the space where the can exploded, as did our modern reality. Gaslighting is only partially working and while the world sees us for who we actually are based on this minority, the majority still is not powerful enough to shange the tide. At least now we see how hard the minority is working against majority rule.

I think…

The upcoming football season is going to be a hot mess at every single level. This is partially a result of political involvement and partially a result of the hyper-fascination and media scrutiny of everything at every level. I’m no better. I love the sport and I tend to dig my heels in at every opportunity to get more data.

I think….

I miss Madden. I miss using Madden and college as an educational tool to keep up with the game and how it is played. I want to make my time playing omre meaningful and become a more intelligent gamer.

I think….

I talk and think about sports a lot. It makes sense, because this is the entirety of how my kids operate in this lovely world. I should’ve been a sports writer. That would at least give me free access to PFF… wait… I am a sportswriter! Imma go get that again.

I think…

I love this thoughts setup. It reminds me of the old school ten things I think I think and it’s lovely cofeenerdness. I miss that.

I think…

I screwed up numbering horribly over the past week or more. Somehow the numbering slipped back into iteration 3… That is not how it should be and I am going to fix it. Now, actually.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “‘I am thinking about it,’ Kamala Harris says of 2028 presidential bid” Girl, no.

One of the hardest aspects of being a father is letting go. I mean letting go of expectations and letting go of the belief that your kids are going to do for you as you’ve done for them. It isn’t real. It happens at times, but it is not a thing to expect or demand. This recently came up as my youngest is about to go to prom. Here’s some background: He’s the result of the first marriage and spends half the year with his birth mom. Now he wants to get ready for prom there as he always does with these type events. I told him it would me a lot if he got ready here with us. He said it made him feel guilty and I ultimately left it to him to decide.

I already know the decision. He’s not doing it here. So, as a dad I can force the issue or I can let it go. I’m going to choose the latter, because I don’t want to have something that is false. I don’t want to force someone to be somewhere they don’t want to be and make a thing what it is certainly not. It’s fine… in the sense of meme fine.

There are degrees of fine. This is the kind of fine that hurts and you don’t forget–the kind that helps you to reevaluate a relationship. I’m still the dad. I’m still the grown up. Yet now I have a clear sense of where things are at. That helps to put my mind at ease. Nice to know where you stand with people. Even if it is at the back of the line.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Melania Trump holds extraordinary White House event to deny ties to Epstein, knowledge of his crimes” Well, that was… unprompted. Also, the word extraordinary is doing a lot of work there.
2. Also this: “Justice Department is investigating the NFL for potential anticompetitive practices, AP source says” Spoiler: it is about who gets the broadcast games…

I’ve been keeping a watch on Rich Obert’s list of the top 150 AZ football players of 2027. It is a big list–ballooning, even. Still in spite of all that my kid has never made the list. I paid the minimal fee for a short-lived membership to the paper just to see if the kid made it. The list is now up to 30, and no sign of the kid. No clue how the list is chosen either. If it is about players who are getting noticed by colleges, well he ought to be on it with 4 offers, one from a CFP playoff team. If it is about all district honors, he has those as well. We’re only at 30, and sure, I’ll accept the kid isn’t top 30 (though he’s being overshadowed already by lesser players at his position), but I’m expecting to see him in the next 120. If I don’t then it is clearly underdog season loading.

Finally got a clear look at the schedule. The football schedules are largely two-year affairs. You book most of your opponents on a home and home two year deal. Some games are open, giving the team a chance to add a new opponent. This year that opponent is Sandra Day O’Connor High. Good school. My boy played with their 7 on 7 team for a while, so he knows what he is facing. Should be a close match. The rest of the matches don’t quite follow the home and home feel. The last two games are road games against Nogales (at the very edge of the USA) and Corona who features #23 on the aforementioned list, a kid my boy grew up with and who I coached his entire youth career. That too is going to be a fun one.

I want to get into breaking down the rest of it next Wednesday as the Waiver Wire returns in full. For now, I’ll fade into…

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Vance hits out at ‘scandalous’ Zelenskiy comments about Hungary’s Orban” I dislike JD Vance and every single thing this man stands for. I won’t begrudge his wife at all, because I don’t know her, but I can tell you that her man’s ‘white victimhood’ is an absolute sham. He’s not the worst part of that entire administration, but he’s possibly the most insidious among them.
2. 400. That is a big number. I fail to understand why it means more to me than 309 or 402 or anything like that but this threshold number matters, if only a little bit. Let’s keep it rolling.