Month: July 2014

Biology reminds us that males of the species are naturally competitive. Having kids reminds me that anything–no matter how seemingly pointless or banal–can be a competition. For someone in competition, the fabric of the game is as tangible and meaningful as Chinchilla. Swiftly now approaches the season of Fantasy Football.

Fantasy Football isn’t a sport. It is quite a stupid pursuit, actually. The act of engaging in Fantasy Football play is utterly pointless and steals valuable time, energy, and money from those who engage in it. Unless you win. Then Fantasy Football is pretty darn awesome. This season presents a new set of challenges to me as I’ve come to rely on Tight Ends to provide a point advantage week to week. The trouble is there aren’t more than two sure fire TE options, a 3rd who could be legit depending on who winds up under center and, well, Gronk.

1st Look: Julius Thomas
The absence of redzone target Eric Decker means two things for Denver. 1) There is more pressure on JT 2) Wes Welker has value again. I’m thinking the JT targets go up, and if last year’s skill level wasn’t a fluke, the fantasy ppg go up as well.

2nd Best and Climbing: Jimmy Graham
This is more about Brees vs. Manning then about the TEs themselves. Graham is the top TE in the league, but I believe the number of weapons Brees has is a disadvantage. Unlike Manning, Brees can get myopic week to week, focusing on one type of player and excluding others. That usually benefits Graham, but he is the guy everyone will be keying on, so I wonder if it will benefit other pass catchers more.

3rd is a poor man’s first: Jordan Cameron
900 yards and 7 TDs later, the world knew J. Cam was legit. Unfortunately, between Hoyer and Johnny Football, the QB situation is far less certain. We know that Josh Gordon won’t be there to catch passes, so Cam is going to be the target of some serious D

And Gronk
If healthy, Gronk will be prolific. The opportune word being if. I expect him to be a mid round selection and to produce late in the season.

You aren’t supposed to share personal feelings on sensitive or political matters on the web. That stuff will follow you forever. Fortunately, I stopped caring about that ‘gentleman’s rule’ a long time ago. That allows me to talk about issues such as Stephen A. Smith’s recent comments on domestic violence. I’m not really here to defend or refute his opinion. I’m more interested in discussing how his words have taken on a larger meaning than what he intended purely because he tweaked the nerve of a deeper issue: In all of our conversations about equality we are forgetting that between the lines we are often asking for one gender to take on more responsibility than the other gender depending on the circumstances.

One show I’ve enjoyed this summer is Murder in the First. The show does an excellent job portraying an exciting murder investigation of a wealthy suspect. There was a particular scene when a woman decided to tee off on her husband. She kept hitting and hitting him. Finally he had enough and connected with a shot to the face. She went down. My first thought was, If she was an undersized man throwing punches, would his response have been wrong? What if it were a kid hitting him? When does a person no longer have the right to defend themselves from attack?

If you are a man, you likely never have the right to defend yourself against a woman’s attack. Well, if she’s armed you might get a pass–at least until you disarm her and then gentleman’s rules apply. The same rules apply to kids and anyone else who is considered so vastly underpowered as to not be a threat. I think back to that elevator incident with Jay-Z and Solange Knowles where she tried to beat the crap out of him and he, calmly, stepped back and avoided being caught on film hitting a woman. That would’ve been the headline: Jay-Z Beats Sister-in-Law, and the woman would expectedly be absolved of all responsibility in the matter.

I’d like to believe that this is the point Stephen A. Smith was trying to make. If so, he is correct. We do not generally hold female attackers responsible for their actions if they are injured by the man they are attacking. It is enough that the man chose to defend himself  to make him the guilty party and fully responsible for the actions. This is partly because it is so hard to get people to come forward and admit that they are victims of DV. In that sense, I get the criminalization of the act.

Still, it would be nice to know that if I’m sitting in the parking lot one day and a woman decides she wants to pull me out through the driver’s side window, I wouldn’t have to pause and think about the social consequences of hitting her vs. taking a beating from her. Both results end with me in a worse position than where I started from. Of course, in the words of ‘Lets be Cops’ if I wind up in such an awkward position, “That’s what you get.”

Some Thoughts:

1. Giants play the Bills this Sunday. Oh yeah.
2. This clip is the greatest comic book adaptation pitch EVER. 

Dear Nintendo,

I might hate you. I definitely want to break up with you. For the better part of three decades I’ve put up with a lot of subpar service from you–so long so that I can understand why you expect me to shut and take it now. I’m done being the victim. I was an original. I scratched and blew on your cruddy games hoping they would magically start to work. I bought all the consoles you put out. Yes, even the Gamecube and the Wii U. Now you’ve gone too far. When my eldest son’s ads stopped working I scoured the web for solutions. Finally I bent over and allowed the repair costs to roll in. $146 dollars for a device I bought for $125. Come on, man. Still, he loves his 3ds life. I forked over the fee and started packing up his old 3ds. I even decided to be super dad for a day and bought another one so his baby brother could finally have one. Yay for me, right?

Not so fast.

As I was packing up the first overpriced DS, my middle kid came running over to show me the problems he was having with his 3ds–a 3ds he bought with his own money. Guess what? It was broken in the same unresolved manner that the other one was. That web search I ran for days about the first error revealed thousands of these cases and you, Nintendo, haven’t taken the time to even throw up a useful troubleshooting page about the situation. All you are willing to say is, ‘We’ll fix it if you have your receipt’. Luck be thanked that the kid does have his receipt. So now I’m preparing a second package to be shipped out via UPS. I shouldn’t have been asked to send anything. I should have never encountered these problems, because this is the type of stuff you fix in beta.

So now i’m done. This is the last level of Nintendo platforms we will ever own. Pokemon be damned. Sooner or later the publishers are going to catch on to the fact that your products are pretty garbage rushed out to the public in an effort to keep your shrinking market share afloat. Japan is known for its hundred year plan, and you are clearly not included in the next hundred years.

So, thanks for the oft disappointing memories and stuttering gameplay. Thanks for designing systems that fail as regularly as inner city high school students. Thanks for making my days long and very angry.

Sincerely,

One torked off Talislegger

Watching the Cowboys practice on NFL network makes me long for the field. I’m done. I recognize it now. Maybe I’ll work myself back into shape enough to play flag on Sundays. Maybe I’ll lose the gut. Lots of maybes set free in the digital realm. Preseason is full of maybes. Maybe the tough talk from the Jets won’t fall flat. Maybe these guys will actually perform. However, hearing Geno (who may not even start this year) talk about how he’s a top 5 QB and Dee talk about being the best corner in the league, I’m thinking these guys are all talk again. The Giants, on the other hand, aren’t talking and that bodes well for the season.

I feel like football is a big part of my life still. I’m a coach and a fan and a father of kids who love the game and long for the contact. Even in a year where I plan to skip the $60+ dollar FB video game purchase, I’m looking forward to the game being a part of my every day life. I’m also looking forward to getting better at it from a mental standpoint. This year’s waiver wire picks ought to be much better. I’m hoping for a 90% success rate and two fantasy football championships.

Some Thoughts:

1. After a 10 hr drive i’m glad to be home.
2. I’m looking forward to running some crazy hard practices when I coach 10-12 flag football. That’s where I started coaching and thats where the creativity can really take hold.

*Note: We just returned from our vacation, so expect stable posts as a result of stable internet access!

 

I think I’m slowly descending towards the atmosphere of the real. Summer is a chance to step away from all aspects of my normal life and spend time living a life more attuned to what I want right now—writing, playing, chilling, thinking about life beyond the daily routine. These moments are extremely important—to the point where I recognize that I have to incorporate more of these experiences into my daily routine. The summer taught me what is important to me, what I need to do to better myself, and helped me uncover the direction my life needs to head in for my personal growth to continue in a positive fashion. The reason this epiphany was able to happen was because I had time to step back.

When I look around at the people in my life so few of them have that opportunity or even take the opportunity when it is presented to them. Instead they power forward, working themselves into a mechanical stupor.

Balance is achieved through a careful consideration and understanding of the world around you. Be aware of the inputs and be mindful of your outputs as that often determines how you are perceived in the world. Mindfulness is something I gained from this summer experience.

That and a 3ds.

I tend to write a lot about having the right influences around you. Yet, it is impossible for me to overstate how important that is. I think of world class athletes like Titus Young and Josh Gordon who had wealth, ability, popularity and squandered it all because the people they shared their lives with. It is no small task to recognize that the people in your life are hinderances, let alone find the strength to do something about it. There were times in my career I changed roles (taking a pay cut as a result) because I needed to get away from toxic people. Make no mistake: There are individuals in our society that are so miserable that their only recourse is to thrive off the misery of others.

There is no real secret to this other than to be mindful of your relationships and afford them the precious time and attention they need in order to thrive and in order for you to be keenly aware of the impact those relationships have on you. This is as true in the workplace as it is in your personal life. Do the people around you make you better, weaker, or do they have no impact at all?

 

I had occasion for several deep reflective moments between last night and today. We were all spread across the balcony looking at the mountains and wondering how to spend the next few days. The kids are convinced I should get a 3ds and join them in all of their crazy gaming. I’m convinced I need to work out a realistic set of gaming hours (Post run and read in the mornings and 4-7:30 in the evenings). I don’t do a very good job about being assertive about the time I spend. I allow myself to drift and shave away at the necessary time of things.

There is a proportional relationship between the amount of hours a person spends on any given task/situation and how good they are at such things. This goes beyond the 10,000 hours of Gladwellian fame to expand to our relationships, our self-awareness, etc. If I allow myself the time to do the things that are important then I will improve myself in the areas/things that I find important. I’m not interested in debating the mastery formula. I am a true believer in the concept of time on task = improved understanding. I also believe that successful people find the will to actually work through that time and put in the hours.

If I am to be the person I mean to be in life, I have to be an example of someone who puts his effort where his words shine.

Some Thoughts:

1. I really need to teach my kids how to fight. Not that ‘I won’t move or hit back’ karate stuff they teach kids these days, but real bare knuckles, ‘if someone comes at you this is what you do’ fighting. It hasn’t been an issue yet, but there is going to come a time when one of my boys is facing down a kid who wants at them.
2. We didn’t have the net yesterday. Times like this I write on the computer and wait to post…
3. Tomorrow I hope to find a moment to sit in the very spot I sat 15 yrs ago and recognized I was serious about writing.

**Note** I didn’t have the ‘net yesterday (a condition to be explained in 1539) so this is a late posting…

 

I’ve engaged in many discussions as of late about wants and needs. At this stage of my life the needs are primarily centered around family. At most, a roof, a laptop, intimacy, and good conversation are enough to meet my requirements for a very happy life. However, what I want often outpaces what I need. Thanks to Maslow, I recognize that once my basic needs are met, my wants take over and drive my motivations.

Every happy person I’ve asked tells me the secret is to have a reason to keep going. Some people find reason in making more money. Others find family to be the end all. For most of the world it isn’t that black and white. What we have here in my orbit is what I call ‘first world problems’. In other words, for most of the world the idea of struggling to find something to want is as bizarre as watching an alien disembark from a starship only to do an Irish jig before quickly reboarding.

You only struggle to want when you have enough to be happy. I’m far removed from rich people problems (and in a galaxy far far away from rich). The well-documented problem I’ve experienced over the past few years is this cult of satisfaction. I aimed for a particular goal, hit it, and then got fat and lazy on the limited success.  The way out of that of course, was to want more—out of myself, out of those around me, out of life itself. So, what is it that I want?

I want to be a best selling author. I want to tell stories that people want to hear and to use whatever wealth comes of that to open a bookstore that perpetuates the idea of storytelling to the next generation. I want to have deep philosophical conversations every night. I want to grow spiritually. I want to stop wanting to look like someone in shape and be someone in shape.  I want to know what it feels like once again to say that I want something and have the mental fortitude to set myself towards getting it. I want to know again that I can do whatever I say I mean to do.

Wanting is that first step. We all need to want something in order to find a way to better ourselves, so I ask you: What do you want?

Yesterday I was laying on the couch and one of my three decided he needed to fold his entire body into the space between me and the couch cushion. He exerted his will, I relented and allowed him to settle into the crook of my elbow where he promptly fell asleep. It was that moment I realized that I’m finally a father first. I used to be about work. Back in the teen years I used to be about me (or the woman I was seeing–but mostly me), but now I’m about the boys.

It is important to figure out what matters most. The kids matter most, then myself, and then the job. This sounds like a small revelation, but it is a change over a decade in the making. I spent the entire summer working on the relationship with my boys and forging a deeper bond. Now I’m moving towards a deeper spiritual understanding of myself and my needs. Its good to grow.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. When you are at odds with the forces in your life the conflict that creates can push you further away from personal fulfillment. The trick is to find yourself in everyday moments and daily routines.
2. In speaking to parents daily I realize how few of them let their kids play the games my kids do or even allow the amount of TV that I do. This, I believe, boils down to personal choice. While the effects of TV and gaming can be highly detrimental to childhood development, these effects can also be tempered by hands on parenting. Part of recognizing and committing to being a Dad first is realizing the importance of my role in their understanding of the world around them.
3. Billions of people worldwide attend church. Millions of Americans are members of one congregation or another or simply attend casually on Sundays. This in no way means that these people are connected to their spirituality. I’ve been learning the difference between faith, scripting, and having a real spiritual connection to the world outside of yourself.
4. Skinny is all too often mistaken for sexy. TV needs to figure that crap out.
5. As much as I love the Luc Besson’s work, the premise of Lucy is pure crap. Nevertheless, I’m going.

I’m in this place where the summer is ending, the work season is beginning, and I am floating in between. I don’t have a lot of coherent words to spill in this state, so I figure I’d just share some thoughts.

 

Some Thoughts:

1. Major Crimes looks like they just launched a spin-off in tonight’s episode featuring Malcolm-Jamal Warner and Laurie Holden. Looks like a good show opportunity and brings in the technology of modern crime fighting in a way we don’t generally get to see outside of spy shows.
2. Two season-ending parties down and one to go. Two of my boys picked up MVP trophies and the 3rd is a lock for one as well. I gotta admit that it looks preferential. I half-addressed it in the announcement at the end-of-season event. I admitted that my 7 yr old tossed up so many terrible shots that even I was shocked to see him be named offensive MVP. But numbers don’t lie. The kid was leading scorer wire-to-wire. I guess alongside those bad shots a whole bunch of good ones found the bottom of the net.
3. Either I’m going crazy or i’m moving closer to some sort of convergence. I keep on sensing things and seeing things out of the corner of my eye. Could be crazy. Could be something else…
4. We aren’t getting rid of the dog just yet. The wifey decided to give him another chance, which is interesting given that she was the one loudly pushing him out the door. Once I relented and announced his demise she changed her mind, leaving me to seem the villain. It’s okay. I’m slowly coming around to a nascent acceptance of being the villain. Could be whats behind my recent understanding of the Sith.