Listened to an impactful dharma talk today. It was especially impactful to me because I have been struggling with compassion. Recently a young disabled woman wronged me in what I feel was a grievous way. She impacted multiple professional relationships in my life to the point where those relationships and thus those avenues of professional discussion and discourse are forever closed. She did through lies, emotion, and manipulation and painted me as someone who I am not. This brought up a great deal of anger in me. It conjured so much rage that I wished her ill will and abject failure in her endeavors. I wished equal levels of negativity on those who sought to believe her without even considering consulting me. To be honest, I’m still angry. One strong spiritual teaching cannot dilute my anger so quickly. Still, the dilution is underway, because I am beginning to understand and through that understanding, forgive.
The teaching was simple: Do think to understand that people who are troublesome to you also want to be loved. They may have negative conditions in their lives outside of their interactions with you but you both seek the same goal. This does not mean excuse this behavior but instead excuse the core being in that they seek something that is pure and good and necessary.
I can work with that. After all, I don’t know everyone’s life. I don’t know what they face daily or their opportunities or even their ultimate self value. I do know that we all share the goal of being loved. We all wish to give and receive love in some manner. I am blessed to be love and feel that completely. I cannot fault another for wanting that feeling or wanting to give that feeling. I can not fault her protectors for feeling love and warmth in their treatment of her.
What I can do is move forward with my life aware of the conditions now set before me. I can offer them a quiet, ‘is that so?’ And continue to seek out the best version of myself while finding love for and in every version that comes before it.