Day: January 10, 2022

So, the Giants got smashed again. I’ve never seen a team have as bad an offense. They simply are not good. They ran a QB sneak on 3rd and 9. Come on, man! So what now? I suspect everyone gets fired. I hope not though. The Defense has been growing into a really special unit. They ought to be top 10 next year. So, why fire folks? Look at the offense! They suck hard. That starts with the front office making bad decisions and the head coach making bad decisions. Not sure Judge is the guy. I’m not sure he WILL be fired though. I think he needs to work on his staff and especially find a very good OC to make something happen with this ragged offense. I also think they need to trade Barkley. I think this is the case because they need a QB and a few key positions along the line. They could get some value out of him and then turn that into one or more additions along the O or D.

I say they go get one of these backups in the league and roll with that.

Today at the anime convention I was approached by a patron wearing a ninja costume. He thought I was registered for the tattoo convention next door. Why? We will get there. He said, “You don’t look like someone who is into anime.” I looked myself over and found no visible tattoos. Everyone from the tattoo convention was covered in ink. I shrugged and said, “Well, I am into anime.” This wasn’t enough for Ninja-Karen-Man. He asked me what I was into and I paused, deciding whether to answer, assault this man (as I was extremely tired and had had enough of the world this day), or remain silent. Before I could answer he added, “From your era.”

Yes, I’ve already admitted to being an oldhead. Apparently I really look the part. Also, he was racist as he continued to assume an older black man wouldn’t be about that life—as if anime was somehow restricted to nerdy white kids. Newsflash: It isn’t, despite the growing lack of black characters in anime, I still love the stuff. Yeah, I said growing. It is easier to find someone pink than someone brown and that is clearly a choice. Either you’re Japanese or German or occasionally American, which to the writers and artists means white. But I digress…

I told him about Robotech and wanted to drop the matter there. Unfortunately he kept talking and, given that my partner makes me a better human, I chose the silence option—even after the dude suggested I would really like Afro Samurai. Such is life… and parts of the anime community.

In the end, I kept my cool and wrote this blog and internalized the looking old part. See, I can grow old gracefully, but in order for that to happen I have to look my age—not twenty years older than I ought to. I need to get it together. I’ll start with the hair.

Well, I went online but I haven’t taken the time to upload the past blogs, so I’m going to write this out here and decide after if I want to upload everything all at once. I’ve been offline for four days. I wonder if people assume I’ve died. I don’t think I’ve ever gone this long without posting the blog. In truth I don’t go a day without blogging and the times I did were jarring enough to trigger a reset. So, this is weird.

Not weird enough to actually do anything about it, but weird. That’s sort of the mindspace I’m in these days. I am on the ‘hard chill’ trying to get my mind right for a long semester and the graduation of a kid that follows. There is a ton of stuff to think about in that respect. Namely, I’m going to have been a dad for almost 18 years here soon and that is a big deal. That’s getting a kid through it in one piece and, hopefully, the kid not hating me too much. The fact is my relationship with the kids is much better than my own with my parents—whom I don’t even know if both surviving ones are actually still alive. Even the step kid who seems to be totally out on the idea of authority deserving respect on spec is on decent terms with me. I can live with that. I feel good about it. I feel good about having been here for them for all the moments. I don’t entirely suck as a dad.

That being said, I am officially an oldhead. I mean I still blog. That has to say something. Even if the blog is only for these ten minutes…

Back on home ground, but I haven’t hooked up to the ‘net for anything beyond a handful of email checks (not the work ones—not yet) and gaming. The crafting is going quite nicely with the castle nearing exterior completion. I need to do another major dig for materials and then I should be able to finish the exterior work. I found several chests full of materials from a long tunnel building excursion, so I may end up going about things in that fashion—running down a seemingly endless tunnel to recover supplies. This is all tomorrow’s news.

Today is about indulgence. I played games, listened to stories, and hung with my partner. I did the things that made me feel best about this existence and I did them all day. This is what happy looks like and I am grateful to enjoy it. I know it gets harder from here, with the semester about to uncoil, but I am okay with that. Like I tend to write, you have to experience pain to recognize the other thing.

Presently my mind is focused on getting back into the words, which should start tomorrow. I don’t know if I am launching back into the fantasy world right away or dealing with unfinished sci-fi. Either way, I am excited to be back in the chair and back doing the things that make me feel whole.

Who is to say if that leads to better blogs, finished bloganovellas or what? I can say this. Ten minutes have felt immeasurably long as of late as I drag each word out of my brain and unto the white space, but today felt a little better—if only a little. Day by day I think it gets better. Day by day I creep towards my best life.

Trip over. I can cover that tomorrow. Today—tonight—I want to talk about Antonio Brown. For starters: That man needs help. He’s not right. He’s been not right for a while and it keeps getting worse. However, because his antics are not harming anyone it doesn’t seem like people are willing to take his gestures as a cry for help or evidence that help is needed. Tom Brady came out today and said his boy needs help, and hopefully the famously fickle sports world will listen because TOM spoke. That is largely how this stuff goes, mind you. Once the narrative is decided about a particular person, that narrative is the way until someone more newsworthy and powerful changes the narrative.

Let me take this moment to also point out that the only person who suffered anything negative from the Washington debacle is not even a coach associated with the team. That too follows narrative. Owners are basically untouchable. Nevermind that the team was taken out of the man’s hands… They handed the reigns to his wife and he is still making team announcements. Most recently the WFT owner announced they’d be announcing the team name in February—likely the day after the Superbowl or the day of…

But I digress. Antonio Brown needs real help. CTE cannot be determined in a living subject as of yet, but that doesn’t stop us from recognizing the man isn’t right and has absorbed a ton of trauma. Let’s get him help. The sports world was fine with Calvin Ridley getting help. We straight cheered Simone Biles and Naomi Osaka, but Brown remains the villain? Even in the shadow of Big Ben and his all but forgotten sexual assault allegations Brown is the bad guy in all of this and people are cheering his latest departure.

What I mean to say by all this is that sports is always about the narrative and the narrative shaped around players is particularly toxic. Things are amplified and reshaped and outsiders are anxious to take advantage of these young (primarily) men with money. I wish they had better judgement, but they don’t. I wish the ones with better stories were the media focus, but they rarely are.  Such is the sports life.

Beach day two and I can list the things I’ve done on one hand. I played cards, played scrabble, walked on the beach, went out to eat, and played video games. This is the entire action set of the day thus far and it is night. Good life. This is a solid way to ease into the chaos of the coming semester. Likewise, the semester itself is a good way to get my stuff done and get myself in transition for the fun and happy living that is yet to come outside of school hours.

I am happy. This is a good cycle for me and I hope it continues for as long as possible. I’ve had a lot of bad in my life and I feel like I’ve earned this. I feel like I deserve a nice dollop of happiness on top of everything else that has happened in my life?

What has happened? Well, the most present thought is the stinging memory of my mother trying to convince my eldest son to emancipate himself and come live with her. The fact is, I’m a pretty good dad. I am definitely not the guy a 17 yr old cuts off because the kid’s Grandma has a ton of beef. I’m talking metric tons here, folks. Tonnage.

So, yeah. I feel I deserve this. I’m going to go enjoy it right now.

Drove to California because, why not? Actually it was the partner’s bright idea for us to get away, as if it were one of those iconic Southwest Airline commercials. In fact, I did not want to get away. I tend not to think in those dimensions, but being away is marvelous. Spending quality 1 on 1 time is marvelous. The first day is marvelous. We took a near 2 hour walk on the beach encompassing the entirety of the sunset after spending time sitting in the sand and being warmed by the sun. Well, she was warmed. I froze. I freeze easy. It’s a curse.

Life is good. Work is just around the corner. That means that come end of the week I need to be back at the words and scheduling a way to put the words as the working priority as I ease into another semester. That being said, I need to prioritize some time to develop these classes as I want them to look and feel for the semester. I need to do it in a way that leaves me prepared for students falling off due to Covid and possibly even the entire thing being pushed back to online only. We are in hybrid mode now, meeting once a week for a few hours over the 8 weeks of these compacted courses. I’ve done this full online as well, but I need to be prepared for a switch from one to the other as they aren’t and cannot be built the same way. There are different approaches at play here.

Presently I am ordering Udon noodles for my nightcap. It is not even 7 pm. I love the beach life. It is not a full time sort of love, but a getaway I can enjoy again and again—especially when I least expect it. I’m grateful to start the year off with this trip and my partner. Life is good.