Day: November 22, 2022

I tried to turn back the clock a year and found out something very disturbing… My numbering system is WAY off. 6.676 happened a year ago. The math doesn’t –cannot–possibly add up. I’ve made these numerical errors throughout phase 6 of the blog, which points to the fact that maybe it is time for a fresh start. Tomorrow I will move to 7.0.

It’s odd because I am clearly in the 1000’s of posts in phase six and I have been reflecting on milestones that I already passed. The entire thing makes me feel funny inside and moreover, makes me truly wonder about how much I am mentally still holding it together. My back hurts. My mind is slowed. I’m bad at video games. I survive mainly on coffee and love. All but the very last part ought to be fixed. I’m way beyond that time to start fixing.

Honestly not the best day for production. More so it felt like one of those days where it is easier to just give up, quit being productive all together and slip into the comfortable routine of a drone who does just enough to register a pulsed trigger the occasional endorphins spill but adds nothing to the world. I cannot explain it other than to suggest a level of burnout that makes me quite uncomfortable.

I’ve had quite a bad day. I spent most of the afternoon in a store and then out of a store looking for my car, because I somehow lost it. All the while I felt like I was somehow losing my mind and, honestly, that is probably the case, because I am a mess right now and don’t know how to get right.