It is difficult to explain the monotony of my household. I’ve tried here on this blog on multiple occasions and have failed to truly express the impact it has on my soul time and again. I also believe I have failed to convey this effectively to the person most important to my life. I know this because, in the end, nothing I need to change ever does. So, instead of beating that dead argument to death, I thought I would think and reflect on what it does to me instead, and through that try and realize my own flaws and shortcomings in an attempt to practice the lessons I preached for years in a town near the middle of Iowa. Accept the things I cannot change. Have the courage to change what I can.
So, what is that really? For starters I tend to exist outside of the family structure. I know that I get worn down by the routine. I know the “leisure only” schedule and the manufactured discontent accompanying it is not healthy for me to be around. I sink into what is around me. I see these habits and behaviors and I feel less inclined to work hard. It was a problem as an athlete and is a problem in life: I sink to the level and attitude of who is around me. It is part of what makes me a poor leader. So, I choose avoidance tactics when I need to lock in. I create a bubble and I fill the air of that bubble with determination and purpose driven mana.
I cannot live in that bubble. I need to move through the spaces of the home in order to exist. So, the key then becomes to design a schedule where I can lock in and then leisure. I need to recognize when I can and cannot engage and as a result be and remain focused on what truly counts: staying in the flow state.
Some Thoughts:
- My Drake freshman son was relegated to the practice squad. More on that Wednesday.