7.518. Turnback Tuesday

Turns out my first post of this turn was a waiver wire. Fitting stuff, that. I was talking about the Jets looking for a QB and the Giants having hope. Tomorrow being the Waiver Wire, you’ll hear more about these things. For now it is more about the headspace I was in all those days (and year+) ago. The goal was to get through a thousand days in this iterative cycle–something I’ve not done before. Halfway through I think I am doing it pretty well. I also believe I’ve evolved quite a bit as a person and a human since 7.1. I still care about a lot of the same things–I’m still a football fan–but I also have cognitive distance from the things I love and a better understanding of what that interaction means from a dopamine and dissonance perspective, and how to have better control over the common sense of all things. I can now, for example, divorce myself from this institutionalized love of the Giants and see them as a thing separate from myself. That team is not my identity. It is not how others see me and it doesn’t need to be representative of self.

That is an important thing to understand during political seasons. We often struggle to divorce ourselves from labels and categories. Voting Trump or Harris becomes a definition of self for those around us, in spite of the fact that the moment of voting is extremely private and personal. Still I can absolutely recognize the dissonance of being in a ‘Forever Trump’ environment and going into that small booth and deciding to cast your vote elsewhere or not vote at all. Just as I understand growing up a Giants fan and then, one day, rooting for their rival as though that choice actually said something about me externally. This could be the thread I start to tug on this semester in my classes. I won’t talk politics, but I do want to talk about self and self-definition and have them write about who they are as individuals and in relation to texts. Heck, that even fights against ChatGPT!

Self-reflection, self-awareness, self-growth is important. These are the things that make us better humans and better scions of society. In a world that feels so chaotic and so driven by rivers of urging and escalation it is often hard to take a moment to sit still and reflect on who you are and who you want to be in this world, and especially on what it takes and what it means to do just that.

I’m trying here.

7.517. Post Mortem

One of the most important things a person can do in order to be better is to study their own habits. My habits are not going well as of late. This self reflection was triggered by my brother reaching out and asking about combating writer’s block. I gave him the truth of all that I do and all that needs doing and then watched myself not do that and instead endeavor to do everything I told him not to do. This as I am staring at an 8500 word piece that doesn’t want to come along nicely.

Instead of writing I sorted wires and plugs and tools. I did all of the things I tend to do while avoiding work and pretending to be productive. I even wandered around the internet doing things towards projects other than what I’m supposed to be locked in on. So, the post mortem is this: I did not cook. Heck, I didn’t even really get started. However, the realization that came as a result of the phone call was useful. I have work to do and I need to settle in this week and get it done. School is spinning up, novel revisions are about to come due, and I still have it in my mind to take on more projects. Add it all up and I have a busy season ahead. I cannot afford to dither.

Some Thoughts:

  1. Tomorrow I ought to go back to 7.1 and remember and reflect on how this iteration started…
  2. Probably best not to talk about these kids on the blog all the time… one day they’ll read it and be like, “what the hell?!” I say that as I just considered an aside about one of them.