Day: November 26, 2024

Recently, one of my co-workers took a pilgrimage to Africa to teach people things. It stuck in my craw at the time though I didn’t allow it much attention. As the logjam of stuff that bugs begins to loosen it finds itself in the forefront of my thinking. Specifically, why are we still in that mindset? This idea of white males going to Africa to ‘fix’ things or ‘educate’ the people is older than the United States… heck it is older than the Americas (in our cultural understanding of settlers that is). Yet it persists. It persists to the point that we are still sending middle-aged white men over on their pilgrimages to civilize the savages. Let me begin by saying the continent of Africa is not by and large savage. It is not civil by North American standards either. I think a lot of what we see as savagery is merely a failure to accept a preponderance of non-white faces. Consider this: India is also viewed in this fashion. China to a certain extent but more as a threat because we, as “Americans” view Chinese as intelligent and organized and thus threatening. It really continues to boil down to a level of racism. I mean, what makes Russia less threatening?

I’ll let that comment stir in the ether for a while. We can come back to it in a year once we’ve decided where “we” stand with Putin. However, I was and am bothered by this simple pilgrimage because it highlights the aforementioned problems and simultaneously ignores the problems we have here at home. You don’t need to go to Africa. You need to go to Northern Arizona. Time and again I watch the people around me try to personally solve problems far from home and rely on their government to solve the problems right here or next door. It isn’t working. We aren’t fixing anything or anyone in this manner.

Some Thoughts:

1. Yeah, I was getting on a rant there. I needed to get it out, but ranting is also not the answer. I don’t have the answer… Perhaps acknowledging that is a step in the right direction.
2. Often stereotypes are based on outliers. I think this is true of most stereotypes. You take the worst of a type and make it seem as though it is the standard in order to key in the fight or flight response or, at the very least, teach others how to act around that type. It occurs to me that my ex wife is the living breathing stereotype of what we think of as the terrible ex wife…

I’m listening to singing bowls playing on a youtube video as I watch this. I do it often to blot out the noise of video game commentary blaring from the living room TV or the insistent banter of a TV show. I don’t get a lot of good noise. I get even less silence. All of that is amplified when I am feeling stressed out, and I am feeling very very very stressed out. While there is some truth to my stress being of a cyclical nature, it does little to solve the various issues that crop up in the cycle or, more importantly, to allow me to maintain a stretch of peace and tranquility in my existence. I am stressed. I expected to spend this blog talking to all of you and to myself about how to relieve intense stress. I even researched it. A lot.

I didn’t find much.

The bowls hope. Any calming ritual or frequency can help you center yourself and temporarily shed the external (and sometimes internal) stressors. I will say, however, don’t add more stressors if you can at all avoid it. There is a breaking point for each of us. I nearly met mine today. I was headed into full ‘murder and drink their blood’ mode when the Lady Talis pulled me from the brink. I cannot imagine the stress my own stress puts on her, and for that I am extremely sorry and extremely fortunate to have someone in my life to help carry that load. So, if this is still informative, I would suggest having someone in your life to carry that load. I would also suggest stepping back from anything you can, because if you’re at all like me, when you are on edge you are likely to be less forgiving to those around you. That rarely works in a professional environment.

When I was prepping for my ten minutes today, I listened to Tony Robbins talk about the three questions we ought to ask ourselves daily. I didn’t get to all three, but the first two are impactful. First and foremost, he argues, you need to ask yourself what am I going to focus on? He speaks of this in terms of the things we have and the things we want. More importantly he talked about a type of person who is an achiever. I’m that type of person. I am not always around those type of people–especially not high achievers. I’m around doers and thinkers and consumers. I tend to judge those who are not high achievers or do not ascribe to the type or definition of success I ascribe to. It is a stressor in my life that only gets worse the more I am home. However, if I focus on that–if I focus on what I want it to be vs. what it is, I fall into the trap I’ve talked and warned people about for years…

Nah… In my life it is the other way.