Today was the first time in a long time I actually felt like the clock was winding down. My BP came in at 140/100 in two separate readings. That is abnormally high for me, and higher than it has been in quite some time. It did fall to 125/92 post meal, but in the intervening span I really took a hard long look at my life–where I am now and where I want to be. I’m a huge believer in the journey, but I’d be lying if I said I was where I want to be on that journey at present. I need to be further along–especially considering how old I am and how long I reasonably have to be (for lack of a better term) virile. I want to be able to be that for myself and my partner. I want the miles and miles of walks and traipsing through the woods. We don’t get that outside of vacations, which is largely a function of where and also how we live our lives. This health check served as a gut check about that and about what I need/want to do moving forward.
I want to eat better. Junk is exceptional –literally and figuratively–so long as you allow it to be. The shame should be said of eating out. I believe in food as a pleasure, but it doesn’t have to be that same kind of pleasure all the time, so I will work to amend that way of living for myself. I’ll work towards getting back towards deeper enjoyment of simpler and healthier fare. Even a PB&J can be excellent provided the ingredients match the task. The same can be said of homemade pasta–a thing I love and truly want to do more of.
It was a scare, but it is also a bit of a wake up call. The other day the Lady Talis said she was ready to start being a better her, and it sounds like it is time I joined her in that journey.