Month: January 2025

I’m not feeling top shelf today, but every day is a writing day. That at least gives me a chance to work through the new format of…

Some Thoughts:

1. Ten in ten is the general idea here. each one of these brief thoughts should consume the space of a minute. I am not keeping a minute timer so much as glancing at the clock for a revolution. This first one is more of me feeling out the time and length of a post given today’s word speed. The rest will be about stuff.
2. That stuff includes my general frustration as a result of being back here in the sea of sameness and need amidst a massive case of Jet Lag. I am not tired at present, but I did sleep till 3 yesterday and barely slept through the evening. It is going to hit me sooner than I think…
3. In regards to sameness: We are working to change the nature of our environment, which is extremely fratboyish unless we fight back the tide. The two boys left are both of that vein and spend their existence vacillating between video games and television.
4. The first step in change is to decide that we are done living around them. We spend an awful lot of time and energy trying to make sure they are not disrupted, which pushes our lives into the margins of their disruption. Enough of that. Mine now.
5. That means building out a life that starts with being active and taking possession of the spaces when we choose. It also means being aware of the role of a parent as an example setter. I need to lead by example more and be more vocal about how to be a productive human. This leisure first lifestyle ain’t it.
6. With that out of the way, I want to turn my mind to the new semester. No, I am not prepared or even generally interested at this point. It will get better–I will become engaged, but it means getting through the jet lag first.
7. Some highlights upcoming: Spring football game for the mid kid fresh on to a new team. It could be a wonderful opportunity to see how he lives and plays if we have the time to make it there.
8. Springtime is when we host CoyoteCon. I will be involved and holding events. I am not sure to what level this is going to be an improvement on past work… that is going to require a burst of creativity to set into motion.
9. Slow today. I didn’t think the pace would slow to a crawl, but the brain is not tip top. I’m about done here…

I don’t have it in me to really go through the emotional rollercoaster of this trip right now, so I am going to focus on the actual travel. For starters: I had two Thursdays. I spent an entire day in Tokyo before winding back the clock and spending another Thursday the 9th in Honolulu. The two places couldn’t be more different. I will say that Honolulu international is a solid airport. We were able to get in and out easily and the people are extremely relaxed and friendly. We headed down to the world-famous Waikiki beachfront and checked out the scene. Honestly, it wasn’t what I hoped. It is very crowded and very small comparatively to other beaches I’ve been to. On the other hand, the water is amazing and clear as the skies above it.

Also… expensive. The area is crazy expensive.

I think the real sticker shock comes from switching from Yen back to dollars where the real damage kicks in. I can make a dollar go a lot further in Tokyo. It doesn’t travel well on the big Island. That there is the travel. The planes were a mixed bag. The flight from Tokyo was excellent, but the connecting flight (same Hawaii airlines was subpar). I will still do it again. 6+6 is better than twelve straight.

More tomorrow when I get right with the time zones.

I don’t want to post just one idea today, which naturally leads me to…

Some Thoughts:

1. It is possible that Japan has the coolest art installations I’ve ever seen. Team Lab in particular goes hard and does it in so many ways. Their medium is light and they do an amazing job of putting on displays that will make you feel transported into another reality. I only went to one installation and there are several throughout the city of Tokyo and even more across the country.
2. Convenience Culture in Japan is very much like my corner bodega growing up. You get everything you need in one small spot. It is the first thing I thought of when I saw my first Walmart all those years ago. I said out loud: Giant Bodega! Being here reminds me that the Convenience Culture still exists for one and two that American ideas are not very American at all.
3. Also, 7-11 still exists and makes a killing here as one of the top 5 convenience chains.
4. Tokyo makes a big point of creating green spaces. They have to. This sprawl is like nothing I’ve ever seen in the world. It is so massive and so dense. Obviously people can point to Pakistan and India in terms of population density (yes, those are countries but I have yet to study specific cities therein) but the vertical nature of Tokyo boggles the mind.
5. I intend to write the next blog on a plane or perhaps waiting for one. We have a ton of travel today, which includes a stop over in HI for my second journey to that part of the world. Hawaii is a strange and wonderful place. It also points to how far the American Empire stretches, which makes Trump’s impassioned attempt to grow the country to include the Panama Canal and Greenland feel less insane, though it is entirely insane. Even more so when you throw in “the state of Canada”
6. If I can get back to writing faster I would like to return to the idea of one minute per thought. I like the ten thoughts in ten minutes approach.

I lost another fantasy season. I won one, which left me at two losses and a win. The losses were both practically last place jobs powered by 8 game loosing streaks. I don’t know what happened there in the middle of the season. It was partially injury driven, but mostly felt liek me not being good at picking up the waivers. I was extremely slow to process who was going to ‘pop’ and that cost me big in two of the leagues. The third, formed out of a random practice draft, only had a handful of people actively participating it seemed. I won that fairly easily, defeating everyone who decided to put in the work. I only stayed in that one because I was under the impression that it would take me into the Yahoo league of champions. It appears that it did not. So, that was a loss of sorts or at least an empty win.

I see FF as a form of gambling, and if you don’t have he opportunity to win anything or at least lose something (as I privately fund the family league so never actually have a chance to win money) then it isn’t the same. The point is the stakes. What is at stake and are those stakes worth working for? This year the answer was a resounding no. It points to a larger decline in my life with all forms of gaming. I don’t play many video games anymore, and it is certainly a drag on my joy factor.

I’ve spent the New Year in Japan and I find myself trying to remember exactly when was the last time I was here and, more interestingly, what my state of mind was at the time. This, dear readers, is the very heart of Turnback Tuesday. So, I reached deep into the vault to locate the days and events of May 2023…

I am sitting in, perhaps, the most beautiful writing space I’ve experienced outside of television. It is a simple and calm space. I am looking into a small outdoor area wrapped in a bamboo fence that encases a zen garden. The simplicity and small details give it beauty–as opposed to my own space, which is overrun with books, and swords, and light sabers and so on. Less here is more. This led me to thinking about my partner’s philosophy and core values. Less is indeed more. The less you fill your time and heart with, the more energy and love you have to pour into the things which truly matter. Defining those things is always a matter of choice and perspective, but the idea, as I see it, remains to limit those things to what comes from the natural world. She is an old soul. She believes in having a small number of meaningful relationships and closing herself off form the noise and clutter of life. She is not, therefore, a city person. I mean, hell, we own a farm in the deep woods. (Meditations on Peaceful Living)

The post goes on, but it does show that this place affects me. Even the title is reflective then of where I am now. As I was walking to this Starbucks in the middle of a park in perhaps the largest urban sprawl in human existence, I was struck by the thought of what would it be like to spend real time here? Everything I love about space and energy can be found in the outlying small towns at the edge of this sprawl. I would love, for a time, to walk to a temple every day and pay my ten yen in homage before praying to Inari for the strength, patience, discipline, and courage to live these next 25 in the fashion I desire. It takes time to realize the fragility of time, and once you do it may be too late. I am enormously blessed and enormously greedy. I have so much and desire so much more. I am not satisfied with who I am, where I live, what I have. I am not comfortable in my own stillness, yet I appreciate all that is within that stillness. It is a duality that is better realized in meditation than in the constant thump and hum of daily life and action.

Much transpired from May 2023 till now, a mere 19 months ago. That number holds significance for me due to the writings of Stephen King who first introduced me to the power and the gravity of numbers. The truth of his thought is impactful enough that I see 19 in much of the beauty I find in life. I will be married on 11/8, which adds to 19. Though I am drifting away from the main point here, it all circles back around to one thing: Meaning. I find it in my most peaceful moments and those, usually, happen far from home. It appears I need to find a way to bring that peace back into my own space and learn how to build a life there with my wife.

My Tolyo time is winding down, which is good news for my wallet. It is obscenely expensive to eat out every single day and still eat well in spite of an exchange rate of .0063. In context that means that my 2000 yen breakfast for two was 13 bucks. Yeah, it doesn’t sound like much. It sounds like quite a little in fact, but that is how you get tricked. You do a lot of ‘a little’ and it eventually adds up. My kids have mastered this exchange rate–one in particular has crafted it to a science. He spends $1.20 on a meal most days, which places him in the category of eating out cheaper than it takes to eat in. Meanwhile we are taking them out to eat for 3500 a person. Times that by 4 and suddenly you’re paying real money! I am trying not to pay too much real money, but here we are.

I have had an amazing time thus far. It mirrors the highs and lows of the relationships Ihave with both foreign exchange boys, but my personal growth in the situation matches their own. We are all doing well together. The Lady Talis? She always has her shit together, so it isn’t ever an issue. What is at issue is the sudden crunch of time that reflects the upcoming semester and slew of projects I am working on. I have a book due at month’s end. I have a novel rewrite due 15 days later. Then the new jobs will start cropping up. What I need is a schedule that reflects all this and a plan that factors in both grading and graduate school, because that is on the brink of becoming a thing again.

The truth of all of this is that I am firmly preparing for the next phase of life. My next 25 will be crazy. There is so much I want-need-intend to do over the next 25 years that the first five (which I am calling the ramp up phase) will be extremely hectic and equally adventurous. We have several countries we’ve yet to visit and need to lock that in before our schedules are coopted by needing to care for aging and ailing parents. It is go time and I am ready to go!

See, this is how you’re supposed to do Mondays. Strike at it with the energy of a thousand hammers. Push back against the gray of depression and threat of unending work and responsibility. See the sky in front of you and make your heart sing into the heavens. That, my dear readers, is what Monday is supposed to be.

I don’t know what time it is anywhere else in the world, but it is 9 AM in Taito City. I am ready to embark on my last official family day trip of this adventure–a short jaunt to Kawagoe to see thatched roofs and edo-style candy. The trip, while far from over, is entering a new phase. We are going to have more ‘us’ time as the kids go back to school. It has been a really solid trip for me in terms of growth both as a partner and a father. I am learning the different ways these boys process my input and how to be effective as a support system for them without making it about me or the Lady Talis. I am also learning exactly how good she and I are as a team. I never had that before. I didn’t quite experience partnership in this way. Before I was a part of a family but I was a solo entity with a function and an independent life. Here we are what I am told is a ‘we’ and that is a new one for me. I’m here for it.

In other life news: Nothing. No, seriously. The beat goes on. I am still writing (slower here on the journey) and still learning what works for me in terms of how and where to do such things. I am still prepping for Project 50 (up to 8 miles a day here on foot!) and learning how to take some of the good habits being formed on vacations (every vacation) and bring them back to the desert intact. That is the hardest part. I realize that where I live is a hinderance to being healthy, but I am also beginning to recognize it doesn’t need to be. I ought to be out throwing the ball with the kids and taking more long walks with the lady. I need to devote time and energy to these parts of the life the way I attempt to devote it to the words and used to devote it to the gaming.

That light continues to fade. I don’t know what the issue is entirely. I cannot get myself to play longer RPGs and I am no longer satisfied by NCAA or Madden. I don’t have a go to right now, and this means I hardly play games outside of a senseless hour plus binge every now and again when I try to force myself to tell the story within the game. Starfield used to carry me through that but now it doesn’t.

Years ago my brother pitched the idea of a bathroom book to me. He wanted to take pictures of various bathrooms across America. At the time I’d never been out of the country and found his idea to be, well, gross. Who wants a picture of a nasty roadside latrine in an overworked and understaffed QT? Over time I have visited many countries and each visit relights his fiery thoughts. Bathrooms are strange experiences. The toilets in the USA are very different from those in Italy which in turn are very different from those in Japan. I keep going to these different places and needing to use the ‘loo’ and discovering that the experience truly shapes an impression of the culture. Maybe it should not. It does.

In retrospect, he should have taken the pictures. I should have done the words. Maybe it is too late in our lives now to make it happen, but it is something that ought be noted by someone at sometime. The Bathroom Book (Poop Talk) is a wonderful idea for travelers and an actually silly but fun idea to keep in your own bathroom space. Beside photos of luxurious or high tech facilities there would be the average American flare of slightly below nasty. Words could include discussions on how to know if the space (especially in hotels) is really clean or merely surface clean. Call it a Zaggats guide for your tushie.

Some Thoughts:

1. It is, amazingly, in moments like these that I realize that I still have an ounce of creativity in me and a few stories left to tell. I do want to write the bathroom book or at least delve into a story where the character is writing that book. What an unconventional tale that would be!
2. In case you are wondering, Japanese bathrooms are on a different level. The technology here is very cool and distinct. Some even provide warmed seats. I have stayed in three different locations in Japan over two visits. This bathroom is the worst of the bunch. Clean? On the surface at least…

I must be addicted to naming things. It makes it cool and gives it a space of its own to hold. It also could serve as an excuse to dance around the problem as I focus on the aesthetic. I don’t expect I will do that with Project 50, but you’ll all know in a year or so. Project 50 is my life reset. Building off the argument of life hacking yesterday, I am trying to understand, measure, and improve the life I have left. I spent nearly 50 years putting stress on this body. Project 50 is a year long (and mapped) experience to take back my body and soul.

I will be using chatGpt as an organizational tool for the effort. It will help me collate all the data I have gathered and hopefully pull down some more from the web that can help me design a plan that I can stick to over the year to get the physical right. I will merge that with plans to get the mental and spiritual under control, leading to a better me by the end of year 50. I want to be stronger and faster than I am now. I haven’t run in years and that is problematic. I haven’t been able to play a game of basketball in years and that too sucks. I want to be in better shape. I want to sleep better and longer with less troubling dreams. I want to make love longer. I want to write better. I truly want to be a better person. It takes time. Project 50 is designed to be that starting point to give myself time to develop.

The numbering of the post seems as ominous as the cultural context of the year–at least to those living in North America. Snakes are, according to some relogious systems, evil things. However, I often find that evil is commonly entwined with trickery and intelligence. It seems that to be smart and to use that knowledge to manipulate rules or systems to your advantage is perceived as ‘evil’ depending on who is writing the narrative. In this particular phenomenon it is often those who were tricked or otherwise taken advantage of who wind up writing the narrative and thus feeling aggrieved. All of this is to say that this is definitely going to be my snake year.

I’ve been aggrieved for a long time. I’ve felt the victim and often allowed the system to disadvantage me, but now I feel it is time to take control of my future and take charge of my present. I intend to find all the tricks and all of the ways that can be used to my advantage both professionally and financially–even physically. I’m going to hack my own life. It is long past time to take control and be that person who is winning vs losing. It is more than a mentality. It is about forward-thinking actions.

So, I suppose I do have one of those pithy resolutions I spent the previous decade and a half complaining about. I resolve to hack my life and get rid of the extraneous code slowing down the vital processes. I’m going to replace those things with streamlined upgrades. I’m going to have a better self and a better life, because I finally realize that I absolutely deserve it.