I’ve spent the New Year in Japan and I find myself trying to remember exactly when was the last time I was here and, more interestingly, what my state of mind was at the time. This, dear readers, is the very heart of Turnback Tuesday. So, I reached deep into the vault to locate the days and events of May 2023…
I am sitting in, perhaps, the most beautiful writing space I’ve experienced outside of television. It is a simple and calm space. I am looking into a small outdoor area wrapped in a bamboo fence that encases a zen garden. The simplicity and small details give it beauty–as opposed to my own space, which is overrun with books, and swords, and light sabers and so on. Less here is more. This led me to thinking about my partner’s philosophy and core values. Less is indeed more. The less you fill your time and heart with, the more energy and love you have to pour into the things which truly matter. Defining those things is always a matter of choice and perspective, but the idea, as I see it, remains to limit those things to what comes from the natural world. She is an old soul. She believes in having a small number of meaningful relationships and closing herself off form the noise and clutter of life. She is not, therefore, a city person. I mean, hell, we own a farm in the deep woods. (Meditations on Peaceful Living)
The post goes on, but it does show that this place affects me. Even the title is reflective then of where I am now. As I was walking to this Starbucks in the middle of a park in perhaps the largest urban sprawl in human existence, I was struck by the thought of what would it be like to spend real time here? Everything I love about space and energy can be found in the outlying small towns at the edge of this sprawl. I would love, for a time, to walk to a temple every day and pay my ten yen in homage before praying to Inari for the strength, patience, discipline, and courage to live these next 25 in the fashion I desire. It takes time to realize the fragility of time, and once you do it may be too late. I am enormously blessed and enormously greedy. I have so much and desire so much more. I am not satisfied with who I am, where I live, what I have. I am not comfortable in my own stillness, yet I appreciate all that is within that stillness. It is a duality that is better realized in meditation than in the constant thump and hum of daily life and action.
Much transpired from May 2023 till now, a mere 19 months ago. That number holds significance for me due to the writings of Stephen King who first introduced me to the power and the gravity of numbers. The truth of his thought is impactful enough that I see 19 in much of the beauty I find in life. I will be married on 11/8, which adds to 19. Though I am drifting away from the main point here, it all circles back around to one thing: Meaning. I find it in my most peaceful moments and those, usually, happen far from home. It appears I need to find a way to bring that peace back into my own space and learn how to build a life there with my wife.