Yesterday my youngest had his first college interview. He’s a 15 year old sophomore and was interviewed by a coach from the University of Utah (Utes). The talk went well, but what followed pointed to deeper issues in his life and future. That evening he played 7s and played very poorly (by his own estimation). There was a particularly bad play that resulted in a lot of trash talk by his more negative teammates. These are the ones he’s been with since he was a 12 year old kid playing 14U–The ones who hated him starting over them then and hate him being out there now as they prepare to move into senior year and he into Junior. That hate–that disregard and disrespect is a common element not only in sports, but in life. Haters gonna hate. You have to be able to rise above that noise and do what you’re meant to do and live your life without letting them bring you down. Unfortunately, he cannot. Not yet.
I have two kids capable of being professional athletes from a physical standpoint. Right now only one has the mental makeup to reach that goal. The youngest isn’t built like that. He has never been in a position where he’s had to earn respect. He’s always been the kid who coaches said was ‘the guy’. Part of that is absolutely on me. He is more confident when I am on the sideline. He’s been that way since he was little. I say go get me a touchdown or a pick and it happens. That father son stuff is detrimental to him now, because without me he doesn’t have the confidence–which is to say plainly: he doesn’t believe in himself.
He lets the other voices in and he lets the other voices win the minute he does something wrong. It is a downward spiral from there. Still, he’s a 15 year old kid playing varsity football with 18-19 year old men. He has time to grow into something amazing. He just needs to find a way to fortify his mind. I mean to help with that, but the work–the very hard personal growth–has to come from within. Without it, he won’t even make it to college and as of now, he doesn’t even have a plan B.