Month: July 2025

At the recent Big 12 media day, Deion Sanders (good to see him moving around again!) was asked what he would change about college football. He listed three things: Salary Cap, Pro Rules, and Uniforms. I want to spend this ten focusing on and reflecting on these points, and then I’m gonna go play some NCAA 26. For starters, I am coming to this conversation as a former college walk-on who did not get paid and the father of a D1 player who is getting paid. I don’t think I’ll get to all three, but I’ll start at one.

Salary Cap
So, what is the point? If you believe the point of College Football is parity, then a cap is the thing. However, when has parity ever been the point? The facts of the situation are this: CFB is not about parity. It is about the status quo and about the idea of what it takes to be one of those teams. College Football is built around a dozen top programs and everyone else is just trying to get noticed. You can’t have Ohio State be Ohio State with parity. Ohio State had a rumored 20 million dollar NIL budget last year. My kid’s team, Northern Colorado, had under 40K. There are players on Ohio State getting paid more than the coach and all of the players at Northern Colorado combined. How can you have parity with a situation like that? Sure, you can say he is on an FCS team, but Sacramento State is FCS and was part of their conference this past year. Their NIL budget target is 75 million. This is not including the pay rates listed in the House settlement.

If parity is the purpose than a cap is the way. You have an upper budgetary limitation and coaches/staff must decide how to allocate those funds to best fit their team. Will everyone be able to reach the cap? No. You have to have the fans to get the funds, but at least here there is a chance.

More tomorrow.

Finished a chapter and I am taking tomorrow off. This book is moving into the final phase–the reveals, the ramp ups, the last 10 chapters… or so. I need a break to get my head ready for what is to come. Ironically, that is precisely what the main character does at the end of the chapter I just finished rewriting. Life imitates art, or the other way around?

That day off means a trip to the movies on the AMC A-List tab. For under $30 a month I can get free entry to multiple movies a week. I just don’t. So, I gotta use it and make myself feel like it is worth it. This tomorrow thing along with the Superman movie means two this month after 1 last month. I’ll get better with these things, because I want to have better inputs. This house is filled with bad TV and youtube. I’m a culprit of a lot of it myself. I can change the things I can change. I’m aiming to do that.

Some Thoughts:

1. NCAA 26 starts tomorrow for me. Not sure if I want to go WR or CB. Kinda want to try one of each because you don’t get to do both with one character so far as I know.

Another day, but not another chapter. I have to call it quits for the night. I’m close. I can see the end of it and I know exactly how to get there. Maybe an hour in the morning and I’m golden. That puts me another step closer to the end of this and on to the next project.

I missed Frostpunk for this.

At any rate, I do feel good about being so close to the end of the project. I feel like I am moving faster and better in the word mines, and generating material that doesn’t suck. Part of this is the grad school glow up. I feel like being in these grad classes and excelling (close to a 4.0 depending on the outcome of the summer class where I accidentally missed work) has be remembering that I’m actually good at this. I am, you know, not terrible.

I’ve spent my entire life–50 years–talking about being a writer. Not just middling as I am now, but productive and good. I want to make a splash story. I want to see it optioned for movie rights. I want to ride that wave to do other crossover projects, because I have stories to tell in multiple formats. I want this to be what my life looks like. The teaching, that’s wonderful. However, this is a better third act.

Some Thoughts:

1. Oh yeah, if this gets me a better chance of watching my kids play ball, I’m definitely going to force the issue.

Managed to knock out a chapter today and to bring the alpha revision wordcount up to 70k. That’s ten K off the original with 9 to 12 chapters left in the book. It is going to be longer, fuller, better, and actually good. Great is a stretch because I am still trying to make it a lot more than what it is built to be, but I love the work I am putting into it. I love the feeling of being close to over. Still a few decisions to be made about critical characters and more than one scene that I must decide to keep or delete. We’re off to the next country in 10 days, so I am running out of time to make this work.

Off to the next country. I continue to be amazed at the life I live. Also, I continue to demand more from it. For example, we are able to go to one of our son’s football games in Colorado, but I want two. This is a big season for him and he needs all the support he can get. Plus, I want to be there to see him shine. Will it happen? Unclear at best. The money really isn’t there and the schedule seems not to allow it. We will be watching every week. This team was possibly the worst FCS team last season, though they were rated 108 out of 129 and now the kids have their backs up. I’m expecting a 5+ win season.

Life is good. Life is interesting and often difficult, but I am keeping my head right and getting shit done.

I wanted to get this down before the day turned and the hours pressed on towards evening. I don’t have a plan for what happens tonight. I wanted to keep it open–loose. The key is to know you’ve done what needs doing. That means the school stuff, the writing, the words… The words were not peak today. Not close, even. There is a flaw with being back here; a laziness exploit I keep running. I don’t know if it is game-based, heat biased, or what. I don’t do well when I hit AZ. Especially in the summer.

Part of it is parental. If I’m here and I don’t have my boys I don’t feel like I’m doing my job. This isn’t fact so much as perception based. I’m trying to fight through one to the other in a world filled with half-truths, allegations, deepfakes, and, well, angry ass people who want more from you than they deserve and feel like they deserve everything you are and have. This is my reality.

More and more I feel like I’m in the wrong reality. It’s like that show/book, Dark Matter, where they slide (also.. Sliders) between ‘verses and things are either a little different or way off kilter. Mine is in between. Moreso since Trump, of course. It all feels like a universe slipping towards extinction and I am writing stories that don’t matter. I am doing things that don’t matter, often even to myself. I’m doing like everyone else does here: Passing time.

Phoenix made the top ten of most boring cities this year. Mesa, which is a suburb that, thanks to sprawl, doesn’t feel like a suburb, was ranked top ten in retirement… We got hit twice. I feel those shots every single day. It feels like I ought to be living elsewhere.

And better.

I get why I struggle in Arizona.

I’m lost here. There is no real routine or community or locations to moor myself to outside of the home. It happens in seasons–Football/track. I am moored to the schedule, but that isn’t a life. I don’t know that I have enough daily routines year round to consider AZ a life. Some of that I can work on myself. I can spend an hour in the pool each day, for example, but to what end? This isn’t the beautiful beaches of Spain or the forest wandering trails of Victoria, BC. Nah, this is AZ where everything is static and the metronome of my life cycles between whether my kid is on the PS5 or watching the TV.

I want more. Here.

I need to be the person to figure out how to do that, because I am primarily now the one who is least happy with the existence. When the Lady Talis asks me what I want to do, I want to have a list prepared of options both in and out of town. Home or about town. Indoors or out. I want to feel a sense of belonging and routine that I don’t and I want to make it happen over the stretch of the summer to fall season.

Challenge accepted.

I kicked some butt. It wasn’t a sweep, but it counts for a win. I reduced to two full screen displays with one hosting the story itself and the second the notes I need to reference to make this epic revision/rewrite. I managed to finish a chapter. It wasn’t two. It wasn’t one I started today. It was progress. 67K in the bag. Likely 25 K till this thing is all over. It is building nicely and I have a solid chunk of new material that needs to be created to form a good ending. I am debating what that last chunk will include, but I won’t say here. Go buy the dang book!

What I am learning from this process is that perfection is never going to be achieved in a 6 month window. Books are, for whatever reason, meant to be pushed out in 6. I have yet to master that process. I recognize the math of the thing–667 words a day gets you a 120K draft if you work about every day. It does not sound that hard on the surface. Try doing it. I’ve stalled out more than a few days as of late. That is just accounting for the draft. I’m in the revision stage, which is another mathematical conundrum I’ve yet to unravel.

I do think I can get better at this–make a professional life of it as the plan originally was. I have a 10K project on the shelf due in September–a 20 day draft if I do 500 a day. I’m pretty sure I can grind that out in my sleep, given the familiarity with the material on it, and the journalistic nature of that specific project. We’ll see how it plays out once this one is put to bed.

Long way to go before I get there.

Some Thoughts:

1. Minecrafting is killing my eyes. I gotta slow down or figure out what is going on there.

Back in Az and hoping for a better tomorrow. I’m excited to slide back into the routine of life for a few weeks and, in spite of the holiday, get the work in. I’m looking forward to hitting this next chapter because I haven’t done junk over the last few days—after all that talk about how well it was going. I guess I talked myself out of it.

I’m well aware of the routine we have in this place and the negative aspects that follow. What I need to do is fight a lot harder against that duldrun and create intention within myself. I gotta do it or else I’m goin fro spiral for the next few weeks. I cannot afford that. Time is low. This draft is due. My body needs to be put back in reasonable shape. So much living is ahead of me, but if I let the heat and the meh get to me it will wind up being junk.

one thing to think about is that I have a partner who pushes me. However, it may be the better look to try to push her more—balance it out and not always be the one dragging .

so that’s the plan: get up in the morning and neg and kick some butt!

some thoughts:

1. Quote of the day: You can’t do epic shit with basic bitches.
   

I had the benefit of watching my kid play in his next to last 7s of the season. He did good–made big plays throughout. It showed me a little something about their team too: Desert Vista is a Top Tier team of Lower Tier Teams. They are not quite ready to face the big boys–that is a certainty, but they are at the point where they will be having Coach Wiz level success that we haven’t seen in some time.

Oh, and Coach Wiz is back… at Chandler. So, we won’t be dealing with them until the playoffs and it will not likely happen at all given the likelihood that Chandler immediately returns to a power stance and makes the tourney. Basha is the only squad I see beating them. Centennial doesn’t have Nikko anymore, so they’re not quite as solid. Liberty and Mountain View will also be in contention.

So, what do I see happening in the High school ranks? Well, on the eve of the Summer Camp, this is what I think is going to go down:

DV opens against a tough Cesar Chavez team who has a standout Tight End. This is where my kid earns his looks or doesn’t. I think he does, if the scheme lets him roam enough to cover this TE and lay down some licks. This is a game DV very much needs to win. I think they do, late, by a FG.

We’re on to Mountain Pointe. Not as good as they were and lacking the same coaching team. DV wins again.

Valley Vista is game 3. They are not a very good FB program. 3-0 start or, if I was wrong about week 1, 2-1

Mountain Ridge is a tough draw. They lost a lot of games badly last year, but so did we. Like us they had a bad freshman team. I think we might be better than them if the momentum of previous weeks is on our side. Tight win here. 4-0/3-1

The next two games are against Westwood and ALA-QC respectively. Those are two Ls for the program. 4-2 or 3-3

For the sake of time I will argue that we lose 1 more game (Queen Creek) out of the final 4, which makes us a playoff bound school at 7-3 or 6-4. This is based on strength of squad and strength of schedule. I expect that down the line of the season these kids will gel. Even if they are not there in time for the Chavez game, a 6-4 season means we have made an incredible turnaround. As a bonus, we have this schedule for the next two years–enough for my kid to graduate and get some looks.

Good times await Desert Vista…. So long as we don’t sell this bag.

Rough day for the words. I’ve been on a tear, going through about a chapter a day and I hit the wall today. I didn’t get the chapter done. It’s a 5,000 word mess that probably should be split in two, but I don’t know that it will be. There is a natural break point that I could use, but it makes the next one about a thousand words, which is no good either. I will probably solve the equation with a line break consisting of three asterisks, and keep the flow of the thing going.

What I learned today was why I struggle with writing at home: Too many distractions. At home I started putting the phone in a different room. That helped a bit, but I work on three screens in that house, which gives me plenty of screen space to screw off. I need to change that dynamic. Perhaps change to full screen mode and only have specific data on the side screens. There needs to be less going on in order for me to slip into story. I live in complete chaos, so that rarely happens. There is always madness about. I need to get better about shutting out the madness and about making a better balance of work vs. break.

Break does not mean relax. There are plenty of things I can be doing. Exercise above all. I need to work mind, body, and spirit. That last one drags most of the time while in Arizona, because of what the place truly is and the stressors attached to it (also impacting mind and body). There needs to be a deeper dive for me into how to get it right. I need a plan. Maybe I can publish that plan as part of my 10 for sixty.

That’s the new plan: 10 major pieces of writing by 60. I want it to be 10 books, but who knows what I will get into over this next decade.