8.566. The Shadow and the Rainbow (Freewrite)

Tania didn’t believe in the separation of light and darkness. Even on the canvas she wove the two together as if one needed the other to be complete. Her space was small. Four white walls, dingy from years of use and little cleaning. She could stretch her hands as far as they would go, take two shuffle steps and reach any wall. This would be more impressive if she were a larger person, but she wasn’t much above five feet.

She sighed, leaning back against the wall that held the solitary window to the small room, opposite the door. Outside life went on as usual. She could hear the sounds of construction and traffic beyond her space. She could hear the sounds of other creators through the door and down the halls where several other rooms were set up for similar purpose. The city still valued art, and made space for people to create it. Young people at least, she noted thinking about the old man who’d called himself a carver. He’d been turned away at the door. No reason was given at the time. She was afraid to ask the floor manager why he couldn’t be granted a space. She needed hers. It was the only place she could create.

Her current painting remained unfinished. The edges were the flat emptiness of bare canvas. Slashes of color shot out haphazardly from the center. She’d meant to make a frame of color, but what fell onto the campus was closer to the arc of a rainbow. Atop that high arch of color she’d drawn the black outline of a man. Curiously, it reminded her of the old man.

Some Thoughts:

  1. Time ran out, but I think I was headed towards a supernatural tale here…

8.565. Infinite Worry

Being back I thought I would slide right into a healthy state side routine loaded with activities. I thought I would jump right back in and be able to quickly move through the small mountain of clean up duties and, quite quickly, be able to get down into a routine. I was giving myself a week to be right. I’m going to need more time, because Day 1 was horrible.

I’m struggling so much right now with the kid thing. They have an entirely separate life with their mom and hotse routines, and I accept that. What sucks is that mine feels like more and more of a drop in situation. It is supposed to–in my hope–model an adult relationship. I am still learning how to build those and to have to also be doing it with a 17 yr old kid who is finding more guidance from church than from the home is tough for me. I’m losing the bond with him and it is making me feel terrible for the both of us moving forward.

Beyond that I am just flat out struggling. under 2.5 miles of movement today. That is nowhere close to being useful movement. I need a lot more if I am going to be able to stay driven and stay alive. It is tough in the heat. I could easily blame the chores of the day, but for whatever reason the chores weren’t the thing that got away from me–the day itself did. Suddenly it’s after 9pm and we’ve done very little of what was planned to be done. I sold the bag today in that respect. I have no clue where all the time went. I need to figure this out moving forward, because today cannot be the model. I mean, sure, we spent time enjoying a kid’s bday, but that wasn’t 10 hours.

Obviously, I didn’t get to the freewrite. I will need to try again and try harder tomorrow.

Some Thoughts:

  1. No headlines. Not this time…