I did a freewrite earlier this week, which was fueled by a work incident and the need to write in a specific style as a writing exercise. I really believe in the idea that writing is about both circumstance and imitation. Those things lined up quite nicely for me in that regard. That means no freewrite tonight. I need to do more, I know. I need to flow, I know. I want a great many things I am not entirely getting in my brief and wondrous life, but I have the things I need. I have the family I always wanted, even if it didn’t turn out the way I wanted. Even if, at times, it feels like the 3 boys I raised are more aligned with a family that isn’t me. I’m coming to terms with all of it. I think I’m going to honor them in the space I get to create for myself in the house.
Even admitting to that space, which was once their room, is another nod to me moving forward. Slowly… but forward.
Some Thoughts:
- Here in Iowa ready to watch my kid play football in the morning while I think about what a strange collision that is. When I was done with football at the tackle level but still throwing it around with dudes I knew some of those dudes would go work out with Kurt Warner back before his Barnstorming Days. Now his number is being retired before the game my kid is about to play in the state where I came in as a walk on and tried to forge my own career. Sliding doors. What could have been and what is always lies in some strange spectrum.
- Lately, when I look up to se how much time I have left, it is 2:30 exactly. I don’t quite get how it always ends up being that.
- Watched a football game with the kid tonight and there was a major injury. Hard to watch that with a kid about to go into battle…