Being back in Iowa reminds me why I left. Life is different here. Not better. Not deep or meaningful or anything more than that steady grind of meaningless moments building towards the weekend and ultimately deflating until the next week comes along to start pumping you up again. Arizona isn’t much better, but it is a lot less expensive to fly or drive away. Iowa always made me sad because it felt like a dead end; like I’d pulled into the culdesac and there was nothing left to do but go round and round amongst the pretty houses until I died. There has to be more to life than the low ceiling this place presents.
Except here, you can’t see it.
Today at breakfast the Lady Talis was exposed to what I like to refer as the Iowa Girl Down on the World. You may have met her in other circumstances or perhaps seen her ancestors littered throughout European history. She feels like she is above everyone around her, a trait likely picked up somewhere between grades k-12, and everything she isn’t or isn’t a part of is awful; most notably the things closest to her. The local team sucks. The college sucks. The people she doesn’t want to talk to suck. She doesn’t say outright that she is good or better, but it is evident in her endless commentary on the rest of existence. These are often people who find a home in reflective political parties. They are sometimes Karen’s who’ve yet to be exposed. They are always deeply unhappy and mean to spread that seed outward. I am not here for it. Don’t think I ever will be. So, I left.
The kid brought me right back.
This is twice now I’ve been back to the state. Two different cities and cultures and colleges. Still the same Iowa from the angle of a different facet. It’s good to be living elsewhere, but even there is not my final destination.
Some Thoughts:
- Iowa game matters more and more. Let’s see how he measures up against a top WR on a Top 25 team…