Struggling mightily today. I tend to call this state of mind failure mode. It is the mode I get into when everything around me feels like it is about to or in the act of crumbling and I myself am therefore about to break apart into wisps like Thanos snapped me or the Time Variance Authority broke the universe…. again. Marvel references aside, I’m in bad shape when this kind of stuff pops up. It is about the home condition, about watching the teams I love lose, and about a lack of personal effort and motivation. All of this adds up to me feeling like poop and me feeling like I have zero way of pulling myself out of it or even getting on track (or ever finishing) the work I am trying to complete.
It is 4:30 PM and I am doing the job work and trying to motivate myself for the writing work that must eventually come. It won’t come today, because my time is up. It is a habit of life here that on Mondays my partner works most of the day and I devote myself to her once she returns. I’m already a bit behind on that front, as I am writing this blog.
Some Thoughts:
- I haven’t tuned in to ghost stories at all this holiday season. I just listened to the incredibly creepy story of the ghost that Stephanie and Misty Tasker purportedly saw. This was featured on paranormal witness and has been shared in other forms. It is deeply terrifying. The dread that overcomes me whenever I hear this is simply wild.