Tomorrow is more or less my last long teaching day. I have a few more weeks but the time is devoted to meeting with students and getting into the weeds with them on their final essays. I think they need that more than what passes for lecture in my universe of English instruction. The thing of it is, I’m not stoked to go. I don’t have that energy for it that I usually do. I think I’m winding down for the season–needing a real break for a month or so and then time to climb back into it. I don’t take summers off. I need the money, so I teach several summer classes. I haven’t not taught for about 19 years. During all of it I continue to take numerous writing projects including the novel and other projects I am working to complete right now. All of this is to say, damn I need some rest.
I worry about this idea of not being creative and having lost the juice for generating truly new and interesting fiction. If so, it is because I don’t ever stop and reload. I don’t have a real plan to work that into my system. Its like I have FOMO in regards to writing projects–like if I don’t jump on every one then they will dry up. The truth is I need to let a few go by me. several even. I need to take a break and do entirely different types of writing for a while to get back to that place of being able to tell honest and deep stories.
Maybe that happens next year.