Yesterday felt short and my brain felt slow. I feel that’s been a thing lately–a steady decline from the standardized speed developed in my late teens. That, being a possible issue, has led to me feeling a bit (or more than a bit) worried about my ability to conjure fiction. I hesitate to say whether or not I will get back to that tomorrow. There is still a lot of messy thoughts banging around up there. A lot of misplaced anger at the election and kids and life also rattle me to the core. I have these issues and often people say it is cathartic to write about issues, but it isn’t happening for me.
I am also getting older. I cannot see as well–a sad yet defining truth of old(er) age. I have to zoom in to read some of the 9pt text that used to be all I ever worked in. It isn’t helping the brain stuff. It is helping the self-confidence even less. What is helping is the belief that I still have within me the power to change–however waning. It will require me to actually do things. I need to get off my butt and get focused and organized (my fatal flaw?) and get in motion and stay in motion both physically and mentally. I want this. I want to be better. I want to have as much control over my own destiny that I can muster.
Winning the lotto wouldn’t hurt though.
Some Thoughts:
- The kid committed to University of Northern Colorado. It isn’t Boulder, but he’ll be at that stadium lining up against Prime’s squad in 26.