I found myself doomscrolling through youtube shorts much in the manner of a tiktok fan. It wasn’t my greatest moment. The clips, shortened and edited to maximize effectiveness, were of shows I knew of and either had or had not seen. A lot of Lois and Clark populated the feed, which led me further down the comic book rabbit hole. It made me realize how deep one can go into the watching and the fandom. There is over 10,000 hours of such content on Crunchyroll for one who decides to have the time.
I decide not to.
I decide to break away from that and realistically get my shit together. It isn’t going to be easy–especially in an environment that favors leisure and pastime over activity. However, I need to relearn how to measure and manage my time effectively. I need to get back into realizing that time is precious and I don’t have an unlimited amount of it. In fact, I’m starting to have less and less of it–both in the life and the day to day sense of things. So, I need to get better and making the time I do have impactful and taking something away from every day that I have. Easier said than done, as a matter of course, which is why and how I am in the situation I am in right now.
Right now I am planning to spend a few hours of actual leisure behavior. I am going to watch my Giants play, which means kicking my kid off the TV and off of his back and forth schedule of watch/play/watch–or at least relegating him to his room for such things. It makes me uncomfortable to have to do that, but comfort is exactly how I’ve ruined myself thus far. Time to get it right.