This isn’t a rant so much as it is an admittance that I do not know what I am doing. I’m not one of those people who takes their role models from TV–not for certain things, at least. Everything about being a father I basically made up after a point. I did have a man in my life who served as my dad. He died when I was twelve. He wasn’t married to my mom so much as he was simply the man in her life. Moving through life I realized how common that kind of person was for people and how equally common it was to not have a father at all. Men don’t do what we are supposed to do. I hope that is changing. I hope I am part of the change. That does not mean I am doing it right or even know what I am doing.
It would be nice to have a person to turn to to ask questions and confide in. It would be nice to understand how you’re supposed to be ready for all these moments in life that I’m not ready for. At the very least it would be nice to be able to talk to someone who has been through it in a way I understand. But that isn’t my reality. I’m looking up to empty sky. It will be different for my boys. They’ll have someone to turn to. They’ll have someone to confide in and someone to ask the big questions. Hopefully by then I will have figured out some version of the answers.
Some Thoughts:
- Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “S.C. woman buys four lottery tickets, wins four times” As a man who is not doing well with the money, can I get one?