I’ve been struggling for weeks now. First it was this depression driven by what I perceive as bad parenting dating back well over a decade. Then it was this feeling of displacement in the home and amongst those relationships. This was followed by a deepening disappointment in the people and pets around me. I matched this with a level of dissatisfaction about my own writing that has not been this high in years. Then I got mad about not being paid (still mad). Then I let the politics impact me. Those were always there like a low background hum that steadily grew louder and louder.
Every morning it feels like there is a new distraction or a new dissatisfaction creeping through my mind. I feel as if I have so much I should be happy about in life, but when I look around, I see more of the other stuff and that is what I focus on. Things are not exactly looking up either. They look as they’ve always looked. I don’t expect people or conditions to change. I need to remind myself how to ride it out and be the best version of myself… Even on hump day.
Some Thoughts:
- Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Professor’s speech praising pro-Palestinian students sparks backlash at University of Michigan” The Bonkers part is that speaking up for the oppressed is sparking backlash. Couple that with the incredible lack of news about anything relating to Israel and that has to tell you something about how far we’ve fallen from the concept of justice for all. Tough time for a late-stage democracy.