Every trip to New York is different. Every trip is a homecoming but home is different. I am different. As I move out of my thirties and into my forties I am starting to notice the wear and tear on my body and soul; the scars that I’ll bear with me to the grave. These are the marks and experiences that make me who I am, but sometimes the weight of doubt and regret manifests physically and in that fashion (or any other truly) is too much to bear.
Yes, I wish I’d done things differently. Turned left instead of right. Loved more; deeper. Written more. Believed. However, the truth is that the exact conditions of yesterday created the me who I love today. Reveling in that love and treating myself to the belief of that lasting love is the best gift I could ever receive. That being said, I want to make some proclamations.
I am a better teacher than I am today. I am a better writer than I am today. I am the person I choose to be and I am proud of that man. I believe in who I can be as much as I did yesterday and tomorrow.
The above is my new mantra. It is not a resolution for the new year, new life, or new age plateau. It is a reflection of the person I am evolving into and the best version of myself. It is a challenge to always get better and stronger and work harder and carry a piece of that New York grind with me at all times.