Recently I made a point to return to the idea of mindfulness and extending my actions beyond mindless button pushing, trying to find a connection between action and thought. This is all a very nice way of saying that I’ve been playing Minecraft and listening to the teachings of Buddha while I do so. There are connections there. Minecraft is, in a sense, a meditation on creation. The game is what is called a Sandbox, where the primary goal is to thrive and create. This then is not much different than real life in which we search for goal and meaning and are always drawn back to those two constants: Thrive and Create. As I was listening and playing I was reminded of the five mental hinderances. In specific I was reminded of the idea of middha or torpor, which is best described as mental fatigue. I realized that in trying to recover from that I we often overlook torpor or criticize it as weakness in our society. While it is perfectly fine to feel physically exhausted, the exhaustion of the mind is considered less acceptable. Dr. Frank Lipman’s book, Spent, talks about this dichotomy of understanding in depth. Here I have less than ten minutes remaining so I’ll say what I can.
Work burn-out is a real thing and for teachers like myself–those expected to be ‘on’ all the time, it can come quickly and if left untreated can be permanently damaging. This isn’t my primary problem. In truth, I have no single issue but a series of small mental drains that add up to a tank that doesn’t always get refilled, leading to torpor. Another one of my issues is being a dad. I love the job. I live for it in so many ways, but it sucks the very life out of me. As a single dad my kids are at my house 6 out of 7 mornings each week and full of need and energy. They don’t always have the wherewithal to recognize that each scream (either of glee or anger) and question and accusation and slight or insult peels away another layer of mental strength. They also fail to grasp that the blank stares and wonton inaction they offer when I tell them to do something (such as get dressed) also peels away at the energy banks. By the time they are off to school I’ve already lost energy and then I have to go to work and endure additional drain.
Anyone who has enjoyed a roleplaying game or video game is familiar with the concept of hit points. You only have so many and each shot takes that number down closer to zero. Fortunately video games strategically place health packs throughout the digital world to ensure that you don’t get dead. Unfortunately, in life we are responsible for our own health and must create a situation that allows us not to get drained to the point where we are ineffective. For me, torpor is the result of ‘low health’ coupled with the inability to regularly heal. The nightly Minecraft meditations and the writing help.
Still, more is needed to be back to full health.
Some Thoughts:
- It occurred to me that the blog number will pass this year in less than a week. Meaningless moment of note, but all moments of note are meaningless short of the history and the context specifically assigned to them by the people who are closest to the moment.
- My mid-kid did an in-class assignment that asked him to write and draw about his life. It was all sports and video games and the word family over and again. Apparently we don’t do much else. This is to be corrected post haste.
- Fantasy Drafts are around the corner. Soon I will speak on such things at length. Equipped with my DirecTV Sunday Ticket MAX, and a ton of guides, I’ll be a draft problem…