What do you really want? Why? What are you willing to do and or surrender in order to fulfill your desire? A sociology interesting fact about the U.S.A. is how well scripted our paths to desire and sex are. In part we learn about our desires from our parents–watching them and discovering what they find important and mirroring that in our own lives. However, parents only take us part of the way. External influences are largely responsible for what we want and ultimately play a role in whether or not we are capable of lasting happiness.
I no longer believe in purely self-created desires. We did not suddenly decide to be into fantasy or science fiction. This is debatable, of course. I chose sci-fi–going into it on my own and enjoying the material. Still, someone pointed me to that rack of books near the back of the library. Once exposed to the idea of such things I chose what I liked. Such is the key: Exposure. External forces helped point me in the right direction.
External forces point us on a daily basis. Shows and ads tell us who to like and what to wear. Subculture points out niches of place and passion, opening doors to specific types of desire and wanting.
I think it is important to discern the influences that led to desire, because understanding why you want those things makes it easier to recognize what desires are legitimate and which are routed in something else entirely.