*Apologies for not posting this yesterday. I was away from the internet while in transit.*
Today I spent 6 hours on the football field watching my three boys have a great time playing a game I love and they have come to love as well. I cannot remember how I started playing football. I know it wasn’t my mom who got me started (or ever expressed any desire in my playing). It is just one of those things I discovered individually. I wonder if I’ve given my own boys enough room to discover things individually. Nowadays it feels like their lives are so scripted that there isn’t a lot of room for self discovery. As a kid I was lucky if I had a ‘planned event’ to go to or be a part of. Everything was me trying to find new avenues away from boredom. Today I spend a lot of my life planning things for the kids to do and spending an enormous amount of time being on—creating an environment where they are challenged, fulfilled, and given things to do.
I get that it is a different world from the one I grew up in, but how much of kids lives really need to be scripted and filled with activity. There is a lot to be said for self – discovery and independent exploration. Maybe this year I dial things back. Maybe I move away from the console and closer to the front yard where they learn how to decide for themselves what is fun and what is a waste of time.
Some Thoughts:
- There is also a lot to be said for balance and for carving out enough of the day to be about you. I say this not so much because I don’t want to devote time to my kids, but because I also think it is important for them to recognize that being a parent means that your life changes—not ends. In other words, they need to see me experiencing my life and doing the things I love—especially the things that don’t necessarily involve or include them at the core. This shows them that parents can remain people.
Black Santa and other responsive fables