Today is my eldest’s birthday. On Sunday the woman I love celebrated the day of her birth. Two birthdays in three days celebrated completely differently. These two people are separated by age and culture, but as my eldest ages I am starting to see in him a deeper understanding of what it means to grow up. He is tasting maturity and finding it at times bitter and at times freeing. All of this is part of a celebration, which I create based on his ideas. That leads me to wonder, what is the celebration really about?
Tonight we are having a Video Game Tournament in his honor. He didn’t ask me to do this. I offered and he accepted. He didn’t ask for a card or a special dinner. I offered and he accepted. I suppose even at 12, all that he gets is offered as opposed to asked. It is the same with all of my children as they move from birthday to birthday, creating parties that mimic the celebrations of others and, in part, create a social dynamic that says, “Hey, look how lavishly we celebrate our kid.” Such things say more about the parent than the kid. This is true, I believe, of any birthday event where outsiders are invited to participate. In short, the party is also for them.
Tonight’s tourney is for him and partly the response to him not having a clue what he wants to do or get for his bday. We are doing the lavish thing too, making our way to Xtreme air to battle the American Ninja Warrior course and perhaps take in a little hoverboard dodgeball (sounds stupidly dangerous).
I haven’t secured a cake, but I will and we will observe the classic tradition of singing that bday song, but I still have to wonder why. We only grow out of the things that don’t matter for a lifetime. I wonder why we still do some of them at all.