I have fallen in love with the word sometimes.
The day I married, my group (I was a singer once, long ago) sang a song called ‘sometimes’. Perhaps that is where I met her; where our romance took flame. I was young and full of words and spirit. She was wise of the world and encompassed a great many things. I do not know how or when it happened, but she became my crutch. We are together even now and the relationship is destructive. Sometimes and her sisters somehow and her mother some crawl into my brain at night and empty out all my creativity like old shirts they think I ought to no longer have. I want to do away with her. Not kill her, but perhaps send her somewhere (ahh that forgotten sister somewhere always lurking just beyond view). Better, send her to a place where there are fields of purple flowers and at the center a blue rose wavers in the breeze. A place of name, description, and purpose so clear that some and all of her children will have no place there.
Some Thoughts:
- It is fitting that we call celebrities stars as we orbit around them, drawn by the light and gravity of their fame. Stars exist in each every day life as well, and we are drawn to them by the same cosmic forces, compelled to follow them, digesting the essence of their words and ideas like fuel that powers us and returns to them to make them glow even brighter. There is an ecology of stars spiraling throughout our days and nights spinning fast and free, careening into each other and away again, sometimes taking whole galaxies with them.
- It is the people in your orbit that nourish you, so beware of whom you orbit and who orbits you.
- Imitation ought to be the sincerest form of flattery, but it often feels like inspiration to fabricate ones entire way of being; a Chinese knock off of a life not completely understood. I have experienced such shadows twice in my life and each time the sweet shade diminished themselves in my eyes but burned brightly for everyone else. It seems then that I am quite mediocre at being me and when done well, being me is met with great fanfare.