“Life is at its best when everything has fallen out of place, and you decide that you’re going to fight to get them right, not when everything is going your way and everyone is praising you.” – Thisuri Wanniarachchi
The default is to quit. Roll up your kit and surrender. Tell life that they have this one and you’re good with finding something a hell of a lot easier and more likely to end in success and safety. I am not living that life. In truth, I am living a life and dealing with situations that are almost certain to end in failure for me. I’m not taking all the risk, but I am feeling quite a bit of it on my narrow shoulders. In the end, I’m the one who ends up alone. Still, I would rather be alone than be stapled to the wrong person again for the rest of my days. So, the risk is worth the reward and the now is a fine balance of happiness and a few days a week of raw pain.
I’m trying to find ways to mitigate those painful days. In a perfect world I would drown myself in stories and write my way back to the surface. Unfortunately, I’m not motivated at all those days. I find myself extremely and increasingly unwilling to leave my dark corner until the following day. Then I get stuff done.