This has been a particularly difficult day. For starters I am blogging in the shadow of my broken laptop. This is a problem in general but specifically because the projects I’ve been working on–including a novel–sit open on the desktop of the broken computer. This means the files will be corrupted and I cannot say for certain how much, if any, data can be recovered by my tech guys. I’m sad for a number of reasons and this is foremost among them.
The rest is minor league. I did have a moment today where I could not properly hold a joystick or remember the controls for a game. I was summarily slaughtered by my children one after the other. I am okay with losing but less okay with feeling crippled and discombobulated. I am starting to suspect that there is something actually wrong with me. I don’t know what to point to save for these minor things that medical people are likely to misdiagnose or overlook. I know only that I feel off.
Some Thoughts:
- I added the second header on free will because it seemed relevant, but as I am typing I have no idea why it was relevant.
- I also recognize that my memory is wildly off kilter.
- I’m listening to that same Scalzi piece and he’s talking about writer’s block in a way that seems more like a meditation for himself than anything.
- 10×4: New idea to spend ten minutes out of an hour four hours a day working on a critical writing project. A solid ten of words produces volume. Of course, I just need to stop being a lazy piece of shit and recognize that the writing matters or it doesnt.