I found myself drenched in silence. The classroom, recently emptied, held the familiar hum of air processors and distant rumble of students. In that fresh silence I found a moment to think and now, to blog.
I think I have been a bit frazzled lately. I am under the normal pressures of life, so I am left with no excuse for feeling frazzled. I feel like I’ve lowered my standards of living tremendously as a way to merely get by. I live in the moments between the normal pressures of life, and I let a lot of the short term responsibility fall into the cracks. What I do, most of all, is glide between sheets of noise landing only on the quiet.
What is the quiet. It can be as it seems–pure silence in which my mind can relax. It can be listening to a book or a meditation and playing minecraft. It can be watching TV that occupies the lizard portion of my brain and imagination but little else–leaving the rest to, well, rest. Most often it is being wrapped up in the arms of my partner and recognizing that this is the moment I feel loved, safe, and part of something.
I used to find that quiet in the writing, but I don’t anymore. There is too much stress attached to writing as opposed to the relief and joy it always brought. That is the focus of my introspection lately. I need to know why I have no connection to the writing zeitgeist.
For that I need quiet.