Being a dad is the roughest job I’ve ever had. Well, it is not actually a job. It is a way of life that affects every aspect of how I function daily. It is an ongoing struggle to teach my kids good habits, maintain a safe and healthy environment, get everyone everywhere they need to be, and find time to enjoy them as small humans–even as they grow, change, and piss you right off.
I think I hit a limit to all of that this evening. The trigger was small but relevant. They just were not being good to each other. I thought, if they had some uniting event that could make them a tighter bunch. I thought, if they didn’t have me that would make them a tighter bunch. For a moment I wanted to go. Part of that emotion still lingers–the measured and thoughtful part that still believe there ought to be a moment that brings them together.
Part of me knows that it is not about a single moment but about a sustained effort to remind them of the lasting importance of brotherhood. They need each other. They will need each other long after both their parents are gone.
Some Thoughts:
- The future Mrs. Talislegger is worried about my happiness. Her concerns are valid. I can’t seem to do much more than catch my breath anymore. As I argued yesterday, there is no quiet. I suspect the condition will continue to be as such indefinitely.
- The key is finding time to fall into myself and my thoughts–time that isn’t merely recovery.
- Yes, future mrs. is presumptuous. I dare to dream.