I am empowered by stepping outside of my daily life; to go to another place and adopt another lifestyle that is not dominated by the daily travel routine and bookmarked by classes and homework. It is not only a chance to separate from the work conditions but to be a family longer than the handful of hours that we spend together between things.
It isn’t always that way. Summer allows for engagement that is more involved than the demands of the school year; of the sports year. I recognize the value of those things too. I enjoy the sports life. I want my kids in school learning daily. I enjoy the moments of teaching.
I enjoy standing in the ocean and watching the kids play. I enjoy holding hands with the love of my life as the waves crash against the shore and the tide flattens shells into the slick sand.
I love the opportunity to reset and to gather and to prepare for what life looks like when it is not this; and to have real time with the people I love. It reminds me that I want more. It reminds me that this life is the life I wish I lived 60-80% of the time instead of 20-40%. It reminds me that I need to cultivate more change towards a life that is leisurely.
Maybe I am ready to retire.
Maybe being in the city and in the confines of my daily life doesn’t afford me the opportunity to really see how things can be. Part of the allure of the now is the utter lack of a routine and the freedom to do whatever mixed with proximity to everything I need. That feels like an ideal life. That feels like a life filled with conversation and closeness and bonding unbroken by the tribulations of routine.
I cannot make it 100% my life right now, but sooner than later I can make it more.