Seconds before I walked into my class this afternoon I got a call from my partner telling me she’d heard one of my students had died. Not just any student either, but one I’d grown personally attached to through my work with honors and PTK. I have a ton of students. Honestly there are several whose names I do not know, but I knew his name and a lot of his story. He was very much a person to me and suddenly that person is gone.
It was a shocking reminder that people are not immortal. I’m not sure how I feel about how some of the people took the news. Most seemed shocked and sad but a few smiled. I am not one to tell people how to deal with their pain and shock and grief, but I feel very fortunate that those who did handle it that way were in the back of the space where others could not see them. It is not an appropriate public response in my opinion and shows a great deal of coldness. However, I don’t know if that was intentional or perhaps the sad reality of not understanding how to deal with such things.
I myself am not dealing with it so well. I find myself wondering about other students who have not been present. I have two other students who appeared really committed who have not shown up to class in days. This incident makes me worry about their safety. It makes me not want to deal with the passing of another student.
I feel badly for the family and for the friends who lost a loved one. I believe that he was a great dude who had the potential to provide so much for this world. He will in the least provide memories and lasting tendrils of love that can help his loved ones sustain themselves through this fresh pain.