The first day of the rest of my life.
Every day should feel like that for all of us. No matter where we are or what we are into this day–today–is the opportunity for a new beginning, and a chance to bring an end to whatever is in your head holding you down and holding you back.
So, what is holding me back? Fear.
In public I do a pretty good job of holding it together. In private and in the family I am less bodacious and tend to take the hits harder and let things get to me and impact me more. There is a lot of weight on me in this small world I inhabit and from time to time it gets to me. Time to time I feel alone and I feel the weight and feel like I am the one person who feels like any of it is worth it or feels like any of it matters and or doesn’t take it for granted.
I’m on the new schedule but I have yet to take actual advantage of it. I’ve yet to grow, build, or do more than just sit around and play games. I think if there were a documentary of my life I would be terrified to watch it. Now there is a feeling you don’t want to have in life.
Instead you want to feel like growth is constant. You want to feel energized and do something for the world around you that makes you feel worthwhile as oppsoed to feeling like you (in this case me) don’t have your shit together.
How’s that for reflection?