I’m taking us back 100 days or so 6.152. Where I found myself focusing on 911 calls posted to a youtube channel. I haven’t been to that channel since that post. I suppose that is a very good thing. For one I don’t need to add more horror to my life–especially not real life stuff. Another reason is that I haven’t been sucked into the youtube vortex where all my kids live and experience some curated version of reality. They are so deep into the ‘tube that the Jake Paul fight was relevant and streams of people playing Apex is a daily occurrence. It’s their version of my Gammy listening to 1010 wins in the morning before work.
I said back then, “Humanity is crazy. People are really and truly crazy. Through all of this we work hard to find some happiness and peace and truth and companionship in our own lives and often we fail at that. Sometimes we succeed.” I was happier 100 days ago it seems. I was moving towards hope as opposed to drifting aimlessly away from it. I’d like to get back to who that person was and how hard he worked and how organized. I know, Always Forward, but even moving forward we should be able to remember the best versions of ourselves and aspire to that. The person we want to become is a moving target shaped by who we think we are, who we need to be, and the environment that paves the road between the two. I want to be a better partner. I want to be a person who can be trusted as much as he is loved. I want to be a person in whom faith is worthwhile. It is a big goal with a thousand benchmarks along the way, and the climb is so very difficult. Yet we persevere.
Sometimes we succeed.