So you keep going in the same way that you keep living. Morning after morning you rise and night after night you fall into sleep until you awaken. The keeping going is what you do because there is nothing else to do. There is no value in stopping, because what would happen if you did stop? What would you do next? What else is there? I don’t have that answer or any really. I don’t know that stopping is the answer or keeping going is the answer. I know that I came to the page tonight because I don’t have anything else to do and because it is habit. It is difficult to make habits and it is harder to break habits.
I have several habits that are tough. I play a lot of video games. I coach my kids. I write. These are habits. These are also part of who I am. but are they part of who I would be and who I want to be? I don’t have that answer presently. I don’t know what is next. I know that the now is insanely uncomfortable and I don’t have any way of getting through it faster or better or differently. I don’t have any idea what do do in order to get through this. I’m just going to try to move forward and try to live each day by day by day. Morning becomes day becomes night and unto the next day.