Yesterday I wrote about how my partner set her boys up for life by letting them live at home through college (or at least thus far through college). Everyone panned her for the gesture. The entire family thought she was letting them take advantage of her and not teaching them how to be men. I also thought it was a very bad idea, though my reasoning was that it isolated the boys and doesn’t teach them how to interact with people or take care of themselves because they don’t have to do that when they live at home.
I still feel that way, but I also feel that the way she set them up financially is wonderful. I’m proud of what she’s done. I’m not having it for the remaining three boys. It is a cultural thing as much as it is my own experience being out there at 18 and in college dorms and learning about being self sufficient. It is also a financial thing in a sense, because I don’t want to have to be here raising these men past the next 5 years. I have our last one turning 18 five years from now. That puts him gone to college the following fall. That puts us gone by at least then.
It is a different mindset. Whereas she is about being here to help them grow, I selfishly want to help them get to an earlier exit stage of growth and then leave too.