To quote the late great Old Dirty Bastard: “I’ma rub your ass in the moonshine. Let’s take it back to ’79”
789, actually. I wrote, ” All of this bubbled to the surface when I started thinking about how little time I spend with friends. I felt like being away from my friends was okay in one sense, because it meant more time with the wife. However, it also meant that I didn’t have access to that writer’s world (I tend to hang out with writers) nor did I have guy time. Both of these are incredibly important to maintaining who I am. This is probably the key part of having your own friends–you have a better chance of holding on to that core being that your partner married.”
That was a long time ago and before I even fell into a suburban community; before I really fell into this unusual yet totally ordinary life I never planned. My partner now thinks I planned the whole thing–that I was operating from a master script on when and where to do all things. That isn’t right. I’m a person who rides the currents of the situation. I’ve been a wave rider my entire life. I cannot tell you many times where I’ve gone a place that I’ve forced the going. It happens naturally or generally not at all. Even when I went to graduate school It was a natural experience to be asked to go and to follow the path presented.
I don’t blaze trails. I don’t know how to. I know how to read the world and see the signs of what works and doesn’t work. My partner blazes trails and leads the way, but I think she wants me to lead with her. I think she wants us to walk forward into the darkness hand in hand and make our own light and make our own trail. It terrifies me, but I love her and that is enough to do something different and to try the things I’ve never tried before–no matter how much they terrify me.
Some Thoughts:
- Still sick. Yuck.
- Still looking forward to game 3 on Wednesday, because I love the way the Warriors play basketball and I love watching them matched up against a very good team.
- Some Job openings popped up in Seattle. Maybe Mr. Talislegger goes to Washington?
- I’ve been tossing around a handful of ideas for stories in my head based on old works of literature–hence the nod in #3. No, it wasn’t literature, but these old titles keep bumping about in my head.
- Still considering what Waiver Wednesday ought to look like this week. Monday I had thoughts and today I have others. Sick does make the head spin
- Reva Sevander just is not a good character. The show itself is lagging…