7.40. New Year’s Eve

I haven’t done lists or resolutions or much of anything to push me headlong into the new year. Instead I am in the office listening to fireworks rain down outside. I don’t even know where they are coming from or why they are going off so early in the night, but I’m excited to take my turn at it. My BP is lower today, so I’m excited about that. It largely comes as a result of not eating the kinds of foods that I normally eat. I cannot do that anymore. I am changing my life, and fighting to get back into a decent shape. I need it, because I need to stay alive long enough to do something meaningful for myself and to be here to be a part of this family. Yeah, I get that the first part is selfish, but I’m going to be honest about the selfishness. My partner, meanwhile, is fed up with our lives here and frankly done with living anything like this. We need to strike a balance.

I guess I need to think about the new year–about what I intend to make of it and how I intend to do that. No time like the present to get it going, because tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Some Thoughts:

  1. I really need to get back to thinking about life as a journey.
  2. I’m feeling all of my 47 years lately
  3. My daughter might be getting engaged tonight. Crazy.

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