I’ve come to realize that my children are evil.
I’m not talking in the Dahmer “eat your face” or Damien “I am of the devil” evil, but a more subtle evil which masks itself as youthful folly and boredom. Kids in general are evil. We like to pretend they are sweet and cherubic, but they are trying out all the things life has to offer; all the manipulations and exploits they can discover. A child will lie to your face and, once caught, shrug it off as if it never mattered to begin with. Their quickly developing self-preservation instinct will lead them to manipulate and cajole at levels reserved for sociopaths and politicians. God forbid you challenge these antics. One small punishment becomes the line separating life from death–a line you placed them on the wrong side of with your actions, because kids no not responsibility or, often, guilt.
So, life quickly devolves into a stress-filled negotiation with these…minions. You learn to be strong and firm and stress to the point of exhaustion and none of it changes the way they behave. You spank and take stuff away and scream and listen to screams and fights and tattling and all the while you wonder why you put yourself through it.
Because you love them. They are the part of you that remains when you are gone. They are meant to be the best of you, even if they start out as the worst. They grow into adults and, hopefully, remember the time you had with them as some of the best days of their lives.
Some Thoughts:
- The phone is still trashed. I’m trying to figure out the problem, but I believe I’ll need to go to the Verizon store tomorrow–after I go to Walmart to figure out if the fact that I purchased it at Walmart makes a difference. It turns on for a while and then drains immediately. I don’t feel safe making a 22 hr road trip with that phone.
- After watching Amy Sedaris and listening to her brother, David, I am very interested to know what the rest of the Sedaris clan is like.