10 Minute Rule

The internet died, which means I cannot access any of the writing I am doing on the google docs app. The problem with the cloud is that it’s not on the ground next to you. I mean, there are several problems with the cloud, but that’s the one that has me by the throat right now.

I’m trying to finish some drafts that needed to be in long before today. I got behind for a number of reasons, but here I am and lacking a great deal of the inspiration I thought I would have by this point. The lack of inspiration in general is becoming a problem for me as a writer. I want to write. I do not want to write what I am writing at present. I don’t have ideas for what I am doing and I don’t really know what it is I want to write otherwise. I used to spend 30 minutes a day building this fantasy realm, but I stopped doing that. I stopped focusing chunks of time on specific projects entirely. All of that stemmed from getting jammed up on my last novel and not being able to split focus with anything else. However, when the novel ended, so did all of my productivity. There were remnants. I squeezed out a couple more projects. I started to run down like a dying battery and eventually wound up where I am now.

This is part of why the 10 minute rule exists. Let the writing engine stay idling as opposed to shutting down entirely. Yet, it is not nearly enough. I’m mentally cooked right now and need a reset.

Some Thoughts:

1. Bonkers headline of the day: “Covering the world in carpet contaminated a region and came with a price no one wants to pay”

I’m already in bed and this is not the way. I should’ve done this earlier but sometimes the day gets away from me. What I want is to have days that feel good; feel productive in all aspects of the life. What I have is not that. My days are loaded with work and envy and often disappointment. I’m not just talking about my daily failure to slay the spire (just let me do this so I can move on!!!) . I’m talking about life and how I’m watching myself live it and how I’m watching the people I love live it and squander it. We are so wasteful of this gift we’ve been given—this opportunity to experience so much and to create so much either in our own experience and or for others. I am more mindful of this each day as I continue to move back towards making time in my life for genuine reading and time for writing what matters to my heart.

I’ve been long removed from good writing. I’d argue I’ve failed to be truly productive in 2026. That’s a month of waste I can never reclaim. I mean for it to NOT be two. I have to get back to writing and reading and creating interesting things. I was good at that once. I lost something along the way, but I want to believe I can find it anew—not become what I was but become something great.

Always forward.

Some Thoughts:

1. Bonkers headline of the day: Epstein files rife with uncensored nudes and victims’ names, despite redaction efforts

I don;’t expect every day to be a good day, but damn, can I get one? If that sounds like a sound byte level statement usually relegated to the end of the post and probably tagged in a numbered list, it is. In fact, it is all I really have the mental and physical energy to say. In fact, all I plan to do today is fill in…

Some Thoughts:

1. Bonkers headline of the day: “States scramble to gerrymander US House districts after Trump sought edge in midterm elections” I’ve been reading The Ballad of Black Tom, which is already a head trip, but to see it in the context of what is happening now feels a little too terrifying.
2. Here’s another piece of madness I read: The original Vietnamese document titled “The 2nd U.S. Invasion Plan” was completed by the Ministry of Defense in August 2024. It suggests that in seeking “its objective of strengthening deterrence against China, the U.S. and its allies are ready to apply unconventional forms of warfare and military intervention and even conduct large-scale invasions against countries and territories that ‘deviate from its orbit.’”
3. We are in quite the odd times, you and I. More and more I stumble into feeling that I am not writing about the right things and the moment that is happening is passing me by without me truly speaking out or saying enough about it. But what is there to actually say? We all know it is wrong. We all know what it remind us of. We all feel powerless to stop it or at least don’t care enough to try. So many people don’t see it as making any serious difference–like a stain on a coat or a blip. Yet I don’t feel like this is a blip anymore. “They” planned too long to make this happen and managed to align with the ‘right’ leader to push it over the edge.

I don’t live in the same reality as my kids. I’m not sure I live in the same reality as anyone outside of my wife and perhaps my brother. These other people I encounter live in an entirely different world from me. They have different worries, concerns, perceptions, etc. What matters to them is very different. What they see value in and how they treat the concept of value is different. This is more than a discrepancy. I feel like a ghost from another time or place, a variant walking free on this version of earth.

It is leading to a great deal of additional tension and being fed up quite easily. I don’t have any real understanding of how to relax anymore. I need to rediscover how to do so within a very limited time, because I am struggling greatly and I fear it is going to infect the most important bond in my life. The struggle is real. I’m showing increasing signs of eczema as my body lashes out against the stress.

I need to chill.

Some Thoughts:

1. Bonkers Headline of the day: “Kennedy Center will close for 2 years for renovations, Trump says, after performers’ backlash” Note they didn’t call it Trump/Kennedy. This is a legit tragedy here. The legacy space is being destroyed (read: renovated in Gold). It isn’t the first or last thing he’s gonna wreck it a la Ralph.

Strange to say, but I am not really keen on my kids reading my books. I don’t think they will like them and that would be the worst feeling for your own kid to see your work as trash. Of course, they would see it as trash because they aren’t into that sort of thing. I haven’t written the epic fantasy or the deeply rooted stand alone sci-fi drama or anything that would attract their particular attentions. I do not write for them, though I some point I think I will. I think I probably should. What parent doesn’t want to leave a legacy for their kids. What parent doesn’t want their kids to be proud of them. I don’t believe mine are proud of me–not a one. They don’t think about me in terms of pride. They think of me as the guy who supports them if they think of me at all. The only person who is actually proud of me in this life is my wife. And I am proud of her. That kind of makes us even closer as companions. We are partners in pride.

Some Thoughts:

1. Bonkers Headline of the day: “Actor Rose Byrne named Harvard’s Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year” Because that’s an actual thing. FYI Micheal Keaton was named Pudding Man of the year and will receive his Pudding Pot award in the ceremony later this year. They’ve been doing this since 1770. Like for real.
2. Stumbled across a post written by someone claiming to have put 3000 hours into Starfield. 3000 hours. That’s 125 days of their life. A 3rd of a year–no sleep. That is crazy cool for a creator, btw. I love the concept that a person would put that much devotion into something I created. I didn’t create it, but man I want to be part of a thing like that.
3. Speaking of which, Starfield 2 is apparently about to roll out in months or even weeks!

“There is no possible scenario where you benefit from this incident.” 

Kel is already in the bathroom when he hears her from outside the door.  She hasn’t knocked. Hasn’t said anything before this to indicate that she knows he is in there; knows what he is doing. He clears his throat to cover the sound of putting the pill bottle back where he found it. Then he says, “Excuse me?”

More silence. He imagines her servos whirring in anticipation, hoping to catch him in a lie or an action that would be construed as legitimate cause to harm. 

“I’m using the bathroom!” He calls out again.

“You are not. You are stealing pills.” Her voice is flat, judgement in monotone. 

He flushes the toilet. He turns on the sink, washes his hands. She remains silent. 

There are no windows in Kaitlyn’s bathroom. So, he turns to the door, wet hands gripping brass, and opens it. The robot fills the doorway. She looks like a caricature of a human woman, big eyes, small waist. Other parts of her are larger than they should be as well. He’s always thought it was Kaitlyn’s choice to order that model, more as a distraction from herself than a joke. 

Kel shoves wet hands in his pocket, looking at the treads below the robot’s wide feet. 

“How many did you steal?” It’s one of those questions that force admission. He knows it, even as he looks up and shrugs, the lump in his throat disappearing.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

The robot blinks like a shade coming down on a window and popping back up. “Thermogenic scans indicate falsehood. How many did you steal?”

He tries to step to the side, but the robot shifts, meeting his position. He sighs and says, “none.”

The robot tilts its head, following the invisible line of his esophagus down into his stomach. She says, “Then there will be no problems if I check.”

Well, I made it to another Friday. Mostly through, actually. Today is a really tough on, because I am done with humans. I’ve reached the stress point where I don’t know how to be patient. I can feel and see flames when folks just stop dead in front of me as though they are no longer aware the world is existing around them. They do it in cars. They do it on foot. The do it in aisles. The do it in turning lanes, parking lots, between spots… I’m really just done.

There is no natural cause for each individual moment of anger. I’m simply overwhelmed. There was a moment where two of my boys were headed to the park to play basketball and brought along their phones… To walk a block. In my defense they usually don’t bring their phones to go play basketball, but now one is so lovestruck with a girl he’s lost all contact with reality. Thing is glued to his hip like a revolver and everything else stops when she buzzes. That is forgivable to an extent. Love is what love is. Still, put it down and have a real relationship and a real moment with your brother–especially when you asked him to go play.

See, that’s it right there. These little things generally live far below the surface of my psyche but now they are present and painfully obviously bothering the hell out of me. It’s just humans too! The dog, a pain in the ass on a good day, is not on my radar. The cats… Well, okay. They bug still, but no more than normal. It is really just the people who are glowing with… i don’t even know what to call it.

Overstressed.

Let’s call it that. My normal escape to video games is marred by an obsession with a game I cannot win. Yes, the Spire slayed me. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Yet I get up, dust myself off, and try again. I’m beginning to lose the thread of why. The win isn’t going to feel like anything but a sigh of relief at this point.

I should just go back to Minecraft and chill. Well, for now I’m going to go walk the dog.

Some Thoughts:

1. Bonkers headline of the day: “Melania Trump’s documentary premieres at the Kennedy Center ahead of global release” Yeah.. but nobody is buying tickets because why would they? Better question: Why would Amazon spend 75 million making it (and of course, paying her for it to be made). This is corruption at it’s finest, folks.

I am a long way away from establishing a routine. It always happens a lot faster on the road/on vacation. I think that is the case because there is less going on in my life when I am on the road and the world shrinks down to merely myself and the Lady Talis. That is usually the best version of the world. This is not to say I prefer to be away from family. It is to say I am in love and happier in the arms of my lady and away from the tug of the daily routine that takes me away from both that lady and the writing. Road life consists of very few things: Teaching an Online Class, Taking an Online Class, Writing, and Spending time with the Lady Talis. These core four are the heart of my daily life. Being at “home” or in the desert specifically, means there are more daily requirements, most of which involve cleaning up after kids, driving kids around, and appearing regularly on campus.

So, it appears my ideal life requires me to work entirely online. I’m not mad at that. I don’t know where to find that world, though I am going to keep looking for it. In fact, I am going to make every possible effort to transform my life into one where I am devoting the time to writing and generating enough income from my craft that I can do that “full time” and no longer need to worry about in-person. Imagine no longer being tethered to responsibilities like that and being able to be true and focused to your core.

Some Thoughts:

1. Bonkers headline of the day: Justice Department charges man who squirted vinegar on Rep. Ilhan Omar
2. Old school Youtube was an actual “intellectual” warzone. See Greg Solomon vs. Renetto. Ain’t nobody hiding out here.
3. I wonder about spam sometimes. I mean we are generating this trash data and it goes somewhere. Yes, things can be deleted, but deletion is not as straightforward as it sounds. It happens in layers and there is a theory that we are continually archiving everything in the web… But where? How big are these clouds getting? How much space is really available for all the data (I refuse to call it content) being generated?

Todd Monken made a choice. That choice means he gets to be a head coach–his first time at the pro level. He’s done the job once before for the Mississippi Golden Eagles, leading them to a 13-25 record. He’s never been a winning HC, it seems. He’s a solid OC though. He’s good at that. He can get players in positions to be successful. I really thought those players would be wearing Giants blue. They aren’t going to be. Sanders might benefit from him, if Sanders is on the team or even gets the chance to start. So now what?

Nate Scheelhaase. There, I said it. Go get the Rams Savant. Seriously. I cannot express how important smart people in the coaching seat are to having a successful program. My high schooler has a smart DC and that has him in position to succeed. The OC… Nah. His head coach calls plays and seems to be playing the game like it’s Madden. It isn’t working at all. There have been times when I really thought bro was trying to lose the game because he kept on spamming the same play and doing it in a position in the game where running the ball (as the opponent could not stop the run even when the knew it was coming) made all the sense in the world and throwing it (when the QB lacked both confidence and touch) as he did clearly risked a loss. Change is good. DV needs it, and the Giants certainly need it. My mid-kid is getting it as he’s moved on to be the newest leader of the Northern Iowa Secondary. He’s following his former coach to that coach’s new school, so that’s good. Will they be good? Not sure. Give them one more year to lock in.

I’d say the same for the Giants, but the NFL waits for no coaching staff. Honestly, if Nabers and Skattebo are healthy and they add another piece, they can do things. The D is already locked in up front. They just need pieces in the secondary.

Some Thoughts:

1. Bonkers headline of the day: “Live updates: FBI executes search warrant for 2020 election files in Fulton County” Bro, you lost. You gotta move on.
2. Yet, this might be a part of a larger scheme to legally grant the man a 3rd term. The argument there would be that the second term was “stolen” and thus he is legally entitled to those four years.

I haven’t had the best of days. Mostly it is about not being prepared for the day. I lost my keys and that led to a lot of lost hours. Beyond that I just was not on. I didn’t get things done as required, and find myself further behind than before. I need to figure out how to lock in and stay on schedule and stay on track. The workload is getting higher and there is no end in sight. I need to be more productive on a daily basis and less obsessed with games. That latter part is tough, because I want the win so very badly.

I need wins. I need small victories to make me feel like all this work is for something. I get working for the long reward, but right now some sign of goodness would be appreciated. The struggle, as they say, is real.

Some Thoughts:

1. Bonkers headline of the day: “US sending ICE unit to Winter Olympics for security, prompting concern and confusion in Italy” wait, what?
2. Super Bowl news of the week: Broncos fired the OC… Like it was his fault Stidham was trash…