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1. Giants are back! The win vs. The Titans was in line with my predictions, but let’s be honest: I always think they have a chance. It wasn’t until saw Barkley back at strength that I knew we had a season cooking. Still belongs to the Eagles tho. It’s going to be tough to stop them out of the east.
2. I am worn down and a bit peeved about the home sale. What law says you have to have the house empty and clean–especially if you get screwed out of 35K of the asking price?
3. Madden is fun. I’m not very good tho.
4. I like the word tho as an abbreviation of though. It feels chill to me.
5. Haven’t been working out at all and that shows. I’m fat and old and it is likely killing me. I need the gym more than cake. That being said, I bought pie.
6. Will I die well off? I don’t know. I hope I leave this life in a moment of having money–not to have it but to be happy in living and able to do things I want to do.
7. All this death talk is a sad reminder that life is temporary. Enjoy what you have while you have it. Don’t waste it on anger and despair and being mad because things are not the way you want them. Find happiness in what is and what you can make happen.

Streaming the Southern Heritage Classic (Sanders’ Jackson State team is playing) as I blog. I’m not having the best of days. Weaknesses/flaws in my character have been again exposed as they are on a monthly basis at this point and it continues to sap the joy from daily living. I’m also reading DODO still, and the level of bureaucracy being discussed ad nauseam in the text is hurting my soul. In general, my soul is weary. This move continues unabated and unassisted beyond my partner. The kids lift when told, but nobody else is driving this thing. We aren’t all rowing together.

I’m hitting a personal wall of the type where I am no longer certain I intend to move another item. I might be prepared to dump all of it as I did in Maricopa not so long ago. I’m worn thin and nothing feels like it is getting better.

Not a lot to speak on persay, so I’ll just dive into…

Some Thoughts:

1. First home game of the year was rough. My boy missed a lot of practice this week with an injury, and that was a large part of the reason he didn’t see the field but on two plays. His team was destroyed both actually and morally. A 28-7 loss where there were 15+ dropped passes and the offense looked like they didn’t even know how to play. The D held up mostly. They blew a few, but mostly it was the result of second half demoralization. I’m trying to believe in this new coach, but it is hard when you see him up and down the sidelines yelling and screaming like he doesn’t have control of the situation. He’s struggling early.
2. Reading Stamped for work. More on that when I have more to say on that.
3. Blake Masters Sucks. Politics suck in general. I feel like there is a new breed of politician rising and they are those who capitalize on the pain and suffering of others–like megachurch preachers.
4. And Talk Show Hosts.
5. Too many things going on around me. Feeling very disorganized and, as a result, overwhelmed. Shouldn’t be this way but it is. I need to write stuff down and get organized.
6. I also need to get in better shape. I see myself in windows and mirrors and cringe.

Neal Stephenson’s The Rise and fall of D.O.D.O fails in one critical aspect. Pertaining to post 6.981, he didn’t write believable women yet chose to narrate the story from primarily female perspectives. It doesn’t work if the women don’t seem to function as women, but instead as men perceive women would function. This is the underlying argument of the writing out of race conversation I was hinting at when I broached the subject of writing women. If you haven’t lived the experience of a particular race/class/etc, it is hard to approximate that experience. I cannot pretend I know what it feels like to have a relationship with the law that isn’t, on the onset, confrontational. I work hard at making it not so. I’m amazingly cordial to officers. However, that does not change the facts of my life. Fact: I’ve been pulled over a lot while obeying the traffic laws. The reasons range from fitting the description, to ‘following too close’ to unusual driving patterns (i.e. going speed limit or slightly below when I see a cop) to plate registration needs to be renewed this month (I seriously got pulled over for that one time when the registration was still good. They ran my plates and looked for a reason to see what was in my Xb). These experiences color the emotional entanglement. You cannot fake that.

At one point in the DODO story, an academic offers herself as a sexual favor. In fact, she does this multiple times with multiple men in spite of every other aspect of her character suggesting she would not be someone inclined to do so. That leap felt false, and that made the story feel false. I can stretch my mind around all manner of fantasy and science fiction, but if the people do not act within the reason established by themselves and there is no accounting for that, it is not good writing. Yet this always happens when men write women.

That being said, I’m going to write a female character as my next co-lead… Sigh.

So here we are again Another NFL season about to kick into gear. I am hopeful but guarded about my Giants. In truth I am looking two years down the road at them being a competitive team. I think the Patriots are finally headed away from being competitive. The offense is a hot mess and the WR corps doesn’t have a standout dude who can run Kupp-esque routes to free up the others to do what they do. Also–no TE. All of that being said, I am going to be making some predictions over the next ten minutes that are reflective of where my mind is at regarding the 22-23 season.

The Giants will WIN week 1. How? They are decent against the run. They play aggressively against the pass and the QB for the Titans is a guy who needs play action to get the ball downfield. He won’t have that option in man-based blitz coverage. The CB’s don’t care about the run at all. They know there are 8 in the box to do the work.

The opening game of the week features an upgraded Rams team and a Bills team that is about the same. The Rams have it, IMHO. They’re too tough on both sides of the rock for the Bills to stay with them. Untill the Bills run game becomes legit, I’m not ready to crown them AFC anything. Not even division champs.

Some Thoughts:

1. My son is quitting on himself. Not so much himself I suppose as his coaching staff. He has it in his mind that the HC likes a player more than him therefore no matter what he does he will not start or get much playing time. Yet he played half of the first game. He was 3rd leading tackler based on the final stats. So, this is mental and about practice and about how he perceives the coach talking to him vs. others. However, I talked to coach. I know what he wants and I know exactly what my kid is missing. It is about aggressive coverage–especially in man coverage. He isn’t being physical, so the coach sees that as him being scared. That is not what it is though. He’s baiting the QB and also watching the QB–which is another problem. So my kid’s mindset is “there is nothing I can do” and now he’s back to wanting to transfer. We don’t run. He shouldn’t make the same mistakes I did, but I watch him do it and I am powerless to change his mindset. I hope he’s better than me and comes to understand his situation properly before it is too late.

There’s a quote in the movie As Good as it Gets, where the character is asked how he writes women so well. He says, “I imagine a man and remove reason and accountability.” That hit comedically, but it is no way to write female characters. As a male writer approaching the opposite gender always needs to be done with a sense of gravitas. It is one of the few ‘stay in your lane’ things a writer can get away with ignoring. Writing protagonists of a different race, for example, is often looked at as false, which is why so many white male protagonists populate the literary sphere. I say bollox to all of it, to be honest. I believe a writer is a conduit. We tell the stories of worlds that are not our own or are even approximate to our own. We cannot limit ourselves to characters who are just like us, less we become one dimensional in our writing. That being said, men suck at writing women. It isn’t say anime level bad where every female is oversexualized or turned into a whining infant. However, men do struggle writing women. So, how do we do it right?

Step One: Don’t imagine a man.

Step Two: Talk to a woman.

That’s it. I argue that all characters relate to the writer in some fundamental way. We tune into these characters because we know them on some fundamental level. However, knowing how they are going to act means talking to someone who knows the intimacies of that gender better than ourselves.

Labor day is meant to be a day of rest, which I find interesting because it is quite specifically named towards the opposite affiliation. I’ve never quite taken to the day as such. I tend to treat it as a day to watch sports and get a bunch of work done (i.e. labor). This year I don’t even know if there are sports going on. Clemson is playing their opener today, so there will be a touch of football (don’t know if I’ll bother to watch), though beyond that I have little to speak of. Perhaps I’ll do a fantasy league draft with the xbox S wielding children–starting that process of a league of our own.

No, this isn’t about writing this time either.

Well, kind of. I just finished a major project, so I am in the valley between jobs. I already have the next one due October 15th, and 10,000 words at that. I’m going to track this process as a model moving forward of how to convert these jobs into academic credit as a professor. It ought to count, and we will see if that is as such.

The valley is a scary place, because I’m in a rain shadow. I don’t feel the pressure of a due date quite yet and I do feel the relief of having just gotten work done. It makes me want to bask in the moment of completion when the reality is that I need to get back to work like yesterday. Having other stuff to do (new space adjustments, continuing the moving process, school…) makes it even more likely I will slack off, but I cannot. This is a big step for me as a writer to have steady work coming in and to be able to prove I can handle the juice. I can–It will be shown through the work. So instead of chilling hard today, I think I will Labor.

Some Thoughts:

1. Knowing what the film Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul is trying to accomplish doesn’t mean that it works or is actually an engaging construct. The film is a mockumentary about a superchurch pastor trying to battle back from a sex-related scandal. It’s 1 hour and 42 minutes of buildup to…. I don’t know. I didn’t finish it. TL:DR. Seriously, I’ll try to get back to it, but 40 minutes in the story is mid.

So we managed to get the office moved, and so far it is magic. I’ve moved to the three monitor setup and moved other computers into the space reserved for the kids. It ought to be a nice upgrade for them as well. The office is a downgrade in size, but the comfort and coolness is pretty solid. We are closer together, which I enjoy. I can also see the pool from my doorway, and that is a nice look. All that remains is some decorating and organizing that should be done by next week. This is a fresh start. I feel good about settling in here. I feel like I can write really good work here. I’m looking forward to doing so.

Some Thoughts:

1. The lighting is much better here too. That is something I didn’t think about going into it, but appreciate in retrospect.
2. We snatched the daughter’s room, which likely makes her feel like she cannot come back home. I hope that doesn’t lead her into situations that she should not be getting into.

So the football game in Cali happened and my kid’s squad was absolutely crushed. I’m talking Georgia v. Oregon level disaster. 34– was the final score, which is almost a victory for my kid’s team as they kept the opponent below their scoring average for the year. Penalties were insane and often not called. My kid was held and blocked in the back multiple times—I’m talking hands to the backside numbers level of nonsense. Yet, it continued unabated. He’s probably unhappy with the final, but he played well and made several tackles. He gave up a single TD and, in my opinion, outplayed the kid who starts over him this year. I even understand that truth–not politics but aggressiveness. He needs to get more aggressive in coverage.

Well, I am bone weary.

When I am this tired it is hard to construct anything of value in words. See, that last mess of a sentence proves my case. I’ve been moving houses today. I worked from 5:30 AM long past 2 PM. I’m worn to the bone and I don’t know how well these words are going or will go moving forward this evening. The trick of writing is creating a balance of mind, body, and spirit. My balance is shot tonight. All I want to do is play video games and think about nothing before I curl into bed with my partner and do it all over again tomorrow. This is the way.

Some Thoughts:

1. Football be starting at the college level. My Cyclones will try to thump on an FCS team at 11 AM. I hope to be able to watch a little–see what they got. Then at 4 PM it is High School ball as my son gets to play against a top California team. Life is good. I’m feeling good in my life. Tired. But good.