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I’m puzzled about this one. I’m in Lakeshore Learning with my middle kid and this lady walks in holding a baby. I’m staring. I’m struck. I’m frozen. She’s attractive, but that is not it. There is something chemical there. Something genetic and old like a familiarity that reaches back through time and grabs hold of me and shoves me into neutral. This could have been an hour or a split second, but she notices me and smiles. I smile. We both move on. I don’t really move on, because I cannot for the life of me understand what the hell that was. Fact is, I wasn’t even attracted to the woman in that way. I just felt like I knew her on some cellular level and there was a connection there.

I’ve felt that a few times in my life, mostly with females. It is a sense of kizmet that feels born from some past life. The first time I thought it was a relationship thing, but it isn’t that at all. I don’t know for sure what it is or how it intersects with my life. I know that it is weird, and confusing, and uncomfortable when it happens. The thing is, I don’t know what to do about it or how to control it.

I wonder how I look to other people. I know that in the weekend games I am one of the last picked and one of the most avoided offensive targets, often pushed off to play lineman. So in this case I am seen as as a scrub–especially given my inability to block. On the other hand, I am the smartest guy on the field (and not very humble) and I can learn any position they throw at me. An offensive guy all my life, I find that I play more and more defense ball with these guys and I’ve struggled.

But that is tangential. See, I know they feel like I am slow and old, but I only partially feel it. I want to record myself running routes, so I can see my speed and improve it. All the reading I do about the subject is useless if I don’t actually get out there and do some running. Who knows when? Heck, I can hardly find time to add new things to my plate. And time, as always, is running out.

I also wish I could see myself from the student perspective. Ratemyprofessor helps, but that is overwhelmingly negative. Maybe that is the whole story, but I feel like a lot of students do not have the desire to post unless angry, so while there is a lot of bad, there is little good and that is fine for the medium. I wonder how the coworkers view me, but there is hardly a way to tell there.

I suppose I can worry and wonder for all of my life, but I can never really know. So, what is the point of worrying?

Its funny how the choices you make keep coming round and again. In a way those choices are a reflection of who you are and come back because they are representative of what you will do again. The other day my Division Chair asked me if I planned on slowing down any time soon. I teach the maximum number of classes (counting overload hours), which means that I am working very hard to make ends meet in order to compensate for the lack of funding in the family. It also means that burnout is always only a heartbeat away.

I’m not there yet.

Maybe I’ll find some new and deeper strength from all of this. Maybe I am pushing my engine to the max in order to find yet another gear that I can rev up into. Maybe, just maybe, I have no idea how much I can take before utter and total collapse.

I’m looking forward to my kids’ flag football seasons.

I had an opportunity to run a full uniformed practice this thursday. The D played well and the offenses were crushing it. Interestingly enough I noticed how the D diagnosed the play after a few reps. This is probably going to happen in the game, which means I gotta throw in a few wrinkles like shotgun and ‘wing’ to keep them guessing. The plays are simple. Stopping them is a bit harder. The beauty of the option is that you don’t know what the QB or the RB is going to do. The QB could just pull it back and throw it. The RB can throw it too, or run it, or hand it off again. All of these plays went down during our game and it wound up looking great.

The 4-5’s gave me a burst of happiness today when I saw a kid I was unsure of suddenly emerge as a top flight runner. Kid has the moves and speed we’ll need to score. With only 9 players on the roster and 8 actually showing up, I can get the ball in the hands of one of our three solid runners every possession. Add in the handful of reasonable QBs the team has and we are looking at an offensive explosion.

Defense doesn’t look as good at the 4-5 level, but with the blitz figured out, we are going to be able to contain the other teams at the 8-9 level. This is going to be fun. Even in the 45 degree cold of the weekend, I am looking forward to a good time watching them play.

A pomodoro is a tomato. Such a simple object to reflect what is essentially distilled brilliance. Back in the 1980’s Francesco Cirillo developed a technique for time management structured around maximizing mental exertion by controlling the amount of time the mind is exerted. Cirillo’s technique was to work for 25 minutes and take a 5 minute break. Do this two (wikipedia says 4, but frak that) times in a row before taking an extended (30 minute) break. This helps the mind stay fresh and allows you to focus on a given task longer.

I am testing this method as I storm through my latest draft. It works. Not only that, but the method encourages me to work harder, because I know I need to get every thought out before that break, because I want to feel like I accomplished something going into my next, well, tomato.

There are many software apps designed around time management, but you can use something as simple as a tomato or egg timer. I use an app called 30/30 when possible. Otherwise I use a clock and keep time in my head. The point is to be aware of the end time, but not check the clock constantly while working. You also need to clear out any other distractions for the 25 minutes, because this is what is going to help you make the most of that time.

I want to see if I can apply this to class structure this semester. 75 minutes is a long time and the 8 week class meets for twice that amount daily. In these classes a pomodoro structure could allow us to really hone in on content and try to discern meaning out of what we are doing, because we spend valuable time accessing our critical thinking mechanisms  as opposed to fading as the end nears.

I’m looking forward to what comes next.

As fans we are taught to love a good story. We are supposed to cheer for the underdog, because their victory is somehow better than that of the constant winner. We were supposed to cheer for Notre Dame, but so many of us swallowed the Alabama pill and grinned all the way to that school’s 3rd national title in 4 years. This feels symbolic and indicative of where we are as an American collective. Put aside the weird sexual overtones of the musberger broadcast and you are left with a game that’s was about constant power beating the old guard. This feels like the last election where the old guard was defeated soundly across the board.

We are not into the myth of the returning dynasty. We are intrigued by the rise of the new and hope to be a part of it in some historical way.

The backburner is a dark dark place filled with unhappiness and unfinished tasks. The problem is, what is not done immediately often ends up there as mysterious and whispered about as lost socks. I see it from myself way too often. I start to work on a project only to see it wind up an unfinished thing sitting in a closet somewhere. Sadly, this is also true of how I deal with paperwork.

I think this is an easily solvable problem. Merely devote a patch of time to killing off these loose ends and paper trails that sprout up every work day. We know they are going to come up, so from X to XX it is time to deal with them properly. Amongst my smattering of ‘get me right’ solutions is to handle such issues on the front end. I intend to make the time for that work during the day, so I know that from X to XX what I am working on is the crucial paper bits that allow me to be successful and moreover appear as reliable and efficient as I would wish the world to see me as, instead of the dude who can never file his contracts on time.

Yes, even writers need to file their paperwork on time. However it isn’t just that. Getting it right in that regard–making sure you have all of your stuff together up front gives you the confidence to A) not worry about the small stuff  B) Feel like you can contribute real leadership. I think that all I’ve ever wanted to be in education is a leader. A leader of students and of faculty. You don’t have to lead from position, but you do need to lead from example.

The term itself, in modern parlance, is built from a host of a negative connotations starting with the integration movement following the segregation laws of early 20^th century American history. To integrate means to bring together two otherwise separate entities in a meaningful fashion. At its core this is a good idea. Nothing in our universe exists in isolation, so to understand in a meaningful way how things fit together is a good thing. In terms of structured learning (i.e. the college classroom) this is even more important given that students have learned subjects largely in isolation for the 12 years plus of learning prior to taking their first college steps.

 

So, how do you do it?

 

To integrate in a college classroom means to take separate material and bridge that gap of understanding, possibly in the form of an assignment or a scaffolded assignment. Students want to know why it matters, with it being, well, whatever work they are being asked to complete. The association of American colleges and universities statement on integrative learning suggests, “Students face a rapidly-changing and ever-more-interconnected world, in which integrative learning becomes not just a benefit… but a necessity.” This is, as we say in the 6^th world, chip truth. We have moved deeper into an information society where knowledge is on display and your ability to sift through and discern knowledge and how it works together is going to be key to any sort of learning.

 

This is how we stay ahead of the game as a society.

I was a college dropout.

Going back to school after dropping out required a powerful level of perseverance. Normally a person can be anonymous. They can wander back into an institution as a number on stat sheet, just one more kid that decided to follow through. My path was more conspicuous. At some point I made enemies in important places. One such person was a dean who was hell bent on keeping me out of school. Despite passing the clear requirements for reentry, this dean chose to deny me reentry. I fought the decision, thinking at first that this was some sort of clerical error.

It was not.

Slowly I assembled a team around me. I found dedicated educators to whom I plead my case. I wanted to get back into school, because I knew that what I was doing with my life was far less than what I was capable of.

I learned that governments, education systems, corporations, media outlets, sports franchises—all of these institutions are run by people, and often people are as human, flawed, and even petty as the rest of us. I was raised in a society where we hoist persons of authority unto a pedestal, somehow separating the human from the position and just recognizing the position. This negates the fact that they are humans, and all humans are emotional and instinctual beings.

I believe students look at authority figures in the same way I was taught to. They build expectations around the symbol and around past interactions that they’ve had with others in the same roll, but they fail to recognize that each is an individual that needs to be approached as such and dealt with on a non-uniform basis. This too is not always true. Some of us are locked into the trappings of power and the etiquette that goes with it, but if I can teach one lesson to my students it would be to know who their teacher is as a person first.

“Its always the simple that produces the marvelous” –Amelia Barr

I was thinking about Nike last night. It is interesting to me how people flock to labels because of what they believe the labels mean. Men wear Affliction as a representative symbol of their toughness. Women often don the bunny to show their naughty side. Nike is the same way. They have all of these commercials with professional athletes of all callings, and more recently showed a fat kid working hard as a representative of the Nike culture. That fat kid is the right idea. See, Nike has a chance to create a sense of unity the same way any ball club does. We are Nike as we are the Giants or the Knicks.

I’d like to believe that Skip Downing, student success guru, wears Nike and is part of that representative culture. See, Nike means athletic success, but it is supposed to mean effort and willpower. If we put the right people in front of the camera we will be able to shape what it means.