I’m puzzled about this one. I’m in Lakeshore Learning with my middle kid and this lady walks in holding a baby. I’m staring. I’m struck. I’m frozen. She’s attractive, but that is not it. There is something chemical there. Something genetic and old like a familiarity that reaches back through time and grabs hold of me and shoves me into neutral. This could have been an hour or a split second, but she notices me and smiles. I smile. We both move on. I don’t really move on, because I cannot for the life of me understand what the hell that was. Fact is, I wasn’t even attracted to the woman in that way. I just felt like I knew her on some cellular level and there was a connection there.
I’ve felt that a few times in my life, mostly with females. It is a sense of kizmet that feels born from some past life. The first time I thought it was a relationship thing, but it isn’t that at all. I don’t know for sure what it is or how it intersects with my life. I know that it is weird, and confusing, and uncomfortable when it happens. The thing is, I don’t know what to do about it or how to control it.