Yesterday I talked about a girl, and afterwards watched a bit of The Butterfly Effect. That sensation she has at the end of the movie, that is what I feel from time to time. Right now I am feeling busy. Tired too. This may be the first night I sleep before 2 am in months. But this blog is not about burnout. This is about juggling the many lives one is made to juggle. For me there are 4.
The first life is the one that begins at 6 am with tears and yawns and was for breakfast. It rises with the sun and carries through the early morning. This is the life of fatherhood, where you are dad and coach, and provider of playtime glee. Where your body is reshaped into a jungle gym and your ears swell with peals of laughter. I love the life of a parent despite how hard it can be. I love the second life as well, the life that is introduced in a 30 minute stretch of blacktop and ferried into existence on a soundtrack of audiobooks and NPR. This is the work life. It is satisfying and fun. There are pointless political games and emotionally dangerous students, but these pitfalls are part of the life’s landscape. When I come home there is the 1st life again and it gives way to a third life–the life of a husband.
We don’t have many of these precious moments any longer. Between study and kids we can hardly sit down for more than a TV show or desperate quickie. This is the neglected life in some aspects, and it is the one that is meant to sustain me through the other 3.
The fourth life begins as her day ends. This is the solitary life. This is the writing life, where I come to the page each time as a newbie, hoping to carve something useful out of the tide of human experience and emotion we are all so fortunate to be a part of. This is the soul’s playtime.
I always enjoy this part.