I’m burnt out. On parenting. On the day to day grind. On transition days. I live in this headspace where I begin the day convinced that I have a bottomless cup of energy and by midday I recognize that I really only had coffee. And disappointment. The sad face side of me is reminded that life is not what we wanted. We didn’t get the poorly formed plan A where I become a sports star and that is the endgame. The B of happy marriage ended in dissolution and a lasting sense of disappointment. The post marriage is not storybook.
In truth, I am just really tired of sinking into life after life and finding each progressive iteration less relatable than the last. They spoil pretty fast. The one thing I am holding onto remains out of reach like that carrot dangling from the end of a stick, and my mule brain scampers forward.
Not the brightest and most endearing blog of my life (or even the year) but I fear that this is where I am at right now and it is going to take time to climb free.