I started with the thoughts first today, and when I looked up my time was about over. I suppose it is one of those situations where so much is running through my head that I have yet to take a hard look at where all these various streams of thought are feeding in to. I still don’t quite know for sure. Here is what I do know:

I want to put myself in a situation where I am living the kind of life that makes me smile every morning I wake up. I believe that life is closer than I’ve ever thought. I believe that life is centered around love, writing, and learning new things. That last part has been particularly absent from my world. I’ve lost a bit of the wonder and replication that drove me to be the writer I am today and further powered the uniqueness of my life. I’m trying to get past the point where I shun the things I don’t fully understand or appreciate and try to explore the best in everything and take parts of all of it to create something amazing.

After all, creation is my jam.


Some Thoughts:

  1. For a while now it has gone without saying that my partner and my kids are far more important than my job. I truly believe this was a point of contention in my marriage, where the values were different for the parties involved. To whit, the facts are as follows: My partner and kids are far more important than my job. My writing is far more important than my job. I recognize that my job pays the bills and I love the heck out of teaching students, but all of that stuff about playing work politics and getting involved in people’s drama is so 5 years ago. I’m completely over that aspect of the work life. Let me teach and let me grow dynamic programs. I’m in it for the learning alone.
  2. My kids are fully ensconced in the Generation:YouTube. They are the type to watch videos of people playing games nearly as much as they play the games themselves. They are modeling their styles off of the nonsense they see on tube and most of what they see is so gregarious that it belies any real explanation of how to be a talented gamer. There ought to be a better crop of videos out there that are less about the screaming and trash talking and laughing at fails and more about actual technique and breaking down various styles and strategies. If I had any skill (and time) I would show them how and engage them in creating their own Techniques Tube for various games. At least then they’d be making the most of gameplay and game watching.
  3. Yes, I know they’re just having fun. No, I don’t entirely care, because while they are having fun they are also being encouraged to model the worst kinds of behaviors vs. just getting good at stuff.