Been having trouble keeping focused and keeping a solid schedule these first few weeks of pure summer. The heat is part of the issue–our AC is not working so well–but the main issue is a level of aimlessness I don’t often have. I don’t have solid deadlines and that is what I appear to need to be in jeopardy of missing in order to be successful. That argues that my motivations are more external than internal or at least argues that my internal compass is shot to hell. I believe the second part to be as true or more than the first, and I still remain convinced I can fix all or some of my flaws as I continue to inch towards oblivion.
To say I am uncomfortable is a misnomer. I am merely restless and insecure in the next steps. I need to ‘get right’ but am not entirely sure of what that even means or entails. Meanwhile I am trying to get this last kid ‘right’ having seen the wreckage of the others and I see that it isn’t working one bit. How can I ‘get them right’ when I am not totally right myself?
At least I am looking forward to what is to come. I have been struggling to develop healthy habits and struggling more to develop shared habits, but struggle is progress, is it not?
Some Thoughts:
- Been particularly lazy with this latest novel. Hard to get started and get into the mindset of the story for whatever reason. That is a bad sign, because if the writer cannot get it going, can the reader? I ought to just write the fantasy stuff and get it over with…
- By which I mean transition fully into fantasy and disappear into this created world a la George RR
- No. I am not there yet either.