I didn’t write the waiver yesterday and I’m not considering it today. My mind is on other problems. Overload, actually. Bad AC units, being behind on projects and similar issues. The main issue is an inability to get on track. I need the formality and routine that I found on the beach, and it doesn’t exist here. Perhaps it never has. Instead the ‘routine’ is a slowly increasing list of responsibilities meeting with a quickly receding pool of time. I do my best to maintain enough free time to get my mind right because I cannot burn out and shut down completely. However, that feels like it is constantly on the verge of happening. It already happened once this very month.
I’m stressed. I’m not dealing well with the situations of the space nor with the challenges of the schedule and the challenges both my partner and I are facing individually. It isn’t going well and it is going to hell in a handbasket. This is no way to live. It is merely survival amidst a rising background count of stress and chaos.
I need to find a way to be still and reset.
Better, I need to find a way to thrive as opposed to barely surviving.